Why?? Let it out... the best place is on the internet among strangers who either wont judge you and if they do... its no big deal. This is the only place in the world that most of us can openly talk about this. I could never EVER speak of this to my family or "friends". Most of my friends are wondering why I dropped off the face of the earth but i cant tell them. I don't want the stigma for me or my kids or people whispering when we walk by. I can't let people in my life see me upset. At least here i can rave like a lunatic because its my first instinct to do so (i cant imagine anyone taking this calmly) and when people read my crazy ranting, i dont have to see anyone roll their eyes or cringe. Also, it makes me feel less isolated and less crazy because there are people who know exactly what I'm talking about when i say i can feel things moving inside of me. I feel guilty sometimes too because here I am freaking out and there are people here who have it 1000 times worse than I do.
People are pulling stuff out of their noses and ears and here I am complaining about my butt squirming.
I'm still holding on to a tiny bit of hope that a doctor with a scope and a video recording camera can look inside me and see what I am feeling. Thats the only thing thats gonna get me through the next 8 days until I can see GI and hope they will have some way of looking that day and I don't have to wait for a colonoscopy.