Hi There. Seems like there are many of us suffering with these damn mites who also have mental health conditions. I have BP and GAD too so dealing with them has been a nightmare also. Reading your story, my heart breaks for you. Please read as much as you can here and know there are others who are very knowledgable and caring who can help you. Its trial and error for all of us but you will find something that works. Be strong :)
Ive had this for many months and have tried lots of thngs but as I have many allergies, even some of the 'natural' treatments I cant use. Burnitdown's ideas of using 100% cold pressed organic oils sound great as does using neem or tea tree oils.
A couple of things Ive discovered which although arent cures per-say may help you are:
The mites thrive on a lowered immune system.
Mine is already low due to Fibromyalgia. We had a cat flea infestation that lasted 4 mths (I was the only one allergic to bites). Whilst fighting the fleas we were som exhausted so we ate alot of crap take-out food. By the end of this time I was worn out, stressed, and covered in flea bites and as I later discovered were demodex bites.
So an improved diet and 'trying' not to let the mites to get to me mentally has helped me cope. Its not easy but at least their numbers have reduced somewhat and there are days where I hardly notice them. Nights are a whole other story!
Diamectious Earth(food grade). We used this to kill the fleas so I just started putting this on the sheets before bed and it kills them too! Someone here has tried dusting themselves with it and has had amazing results! Caution is needed as you shouldn't inhale the dust and its very fine, so wear a scarf or mask when applying it. Even putting it on the scalp/pubic hair is safe but try not to get it on ends of hair as it will dry it out, alot. Plus its easy to find in good pet stores and online AND its cheap!!
Your hubby and kids - Everyone has the mites on them but it seems only those with weakened immune systems suffer outbreaks, i.e. the very young or old, people who are sick or recovering from illnesses as simple as colds and other common viruses. Demodex don't jump but crawl, slowly. You can find this info on Wikipedia to show your husband. My husband, although not bothered by them has indeed gotten them from me. It usually is passed on through contact but they can live in a damp enviroment for many days(think damp towels). So personal hygiene(sp) is super important. Also any treatment you use will likely need to be used on your hubby and maybe your kids too.
Finally(sorry for going on so long), as I battle them Ive noticed that once a treatment begins working, they get alot worse! The first few times this happened I thought what I was using was making them worse so stopped using it. However doing more research I discovered they tend to get worse at first before dying off. I dont know why but perhaps they're trying to escape whats killing them and hence feel them more.
I hope this is helpful to you. Dont hesitate to contact me if you want to share ideas, or just share.
Hang on in there.