It does get better. I see now that your post was three years ago so you must know it gets better now. I think violence and rape needs to be talked about more. People are still keeping things like that private. many abusers say they will hurt the adults in the kids lives, that is always used. I tell my kids I am a adult I can protect myself, if anyone is saying that they are afraid and weak. I have experienced some sexua| trauma in the past. It was so sad to read your story it just broke my heart. you are so brave i understand the flinching. what finally helped me was body work, i got some massage and cranial therapy. Hope everyone finds healing.