Don't know every thing about you but sounds as though you are having a real hard time with this..I to have been depressed and know how it feels...But being single mom with two kids I can't let myself get down too much..It is sonmething I fight every day.I was having really bad anxiety attacks and after going to the emergency room many countless times I found myself in the docs office and then walking out with 2 presciptions(zoloft and clonezepam)and a diagnosis of anxiety/depression..Well I took the meds and didn't like how they made me feel and decided to get off them because of all the drama I had read about clonezepam and those class of drugs which can cause a rebound effect.They can actually cause a dependance in two to three weeks so bad that you go through withdrawel similar to the anxiety attack that I was taking the med for in the first place..anyway I have always tried to be a positive person ..Things can only get better I would say..Somewhere inside you are hurting I know and only YOU.. no pills can hide that .. and you need to find out why you feel the way you do ,cause taking pills to mask the prob is never going to solve the problem to begin with.Please fuzzy,,get in touch with yourself and find out what is making you feel this way ..the answer is there inside of you.Only self can help self and self is the most important person there is..I am not condoning pills so don't get me wrong ok? I watch my mother take countless of them looking for the answer for her problem when she had the key to what it was all along..
this is what helped me..
1.I started working out at local gym
2.Take time for myself every day and do what I want
3.stay away from caffeine or other stimulants
4.I take valerian and kava for anxiety when things get to rough and I need to unwind a little
5. talk to a good friend
6.take each day as it comes and thank God that you are alive and live each day to the fullest...
Fuzzy remember that you are not alone and I will help you any way I can..who knows we might be able to help each other.
wish you the very best..
and remember you hold the key to tomorrow to make it better for not only you but those around you that love and care for you..