The blasphemer that has offended the Holy Spirit has a hardened heart. I don't see this in you ... you are in fear of the Almighty and that proves you aren't hardened. You know good and well that I've tried and tested you ... you know good and well I wouldn't waste my time if I thought so!!
The blasphere that has lost the battle and has a hard heart is like: "TO HELL WITH GOD" .... "TO HELL WITH MERCY" ... "TO HELL WITH GRACE" ... "TO HELL WITH SALVATION" ... "TO HELL WITH HEAVEN" ... "TO HELL WITH THE THRONE" ... "TO HELL WITH THE CROSS"
I see you as one that is searching for assurance that He is still there for you and I know that I know that He is, cuz He's told me that He is.
Just above here, is yet another telling you to "seek deliverance." How many times is God gonna need to send you the message? If there's a #, I'll be glad to convey it to Him for you!!! 2 should have been enough, but you need more and He's still sending you the message. WAKE UP, BROTHER!!