alot of female stuff from abortion to endometriosis to hysterectomy

i have a few questions, im new to this so please dont judge me for what i write.im very open and honest just looking for advise. i used to be an escort, first orgasm i had was by and old man...yes i can get myself off, but with my fiance he cant and no other guy ive been with can or has. yes i shut myself off because of what i did for work but i havent done it for 4 yrs and still nothing, I fake it...is this normal? I love sex and my fiance but i never even come close.....
another thing is does anyone have endometriosis? i mean bad! to the point of its growing in to ur vital organs and is on therapy for it? i am 28 and on hormone therapy? is there someone who can relate that i can talk to? had 2 kids both bad pregnancys, i born at 8lbs 4 oz but in hosp for bleeding and such all through, son born at 1 lb yes one, 6mnths along, got sick so did he and i almost died, have had 8 miscarrages and now i hate to say i abortion (i dont agree with them at all but i dont want to die) i am a mom of 2 great kids but i need a hysterectomy...im scared to get pregnant, im scared i will die...i have 2 kids that need me?! but my fiance want a kid of his own....should i risk it? or should i just demand hystr.? my next baby would be born very pre mature and i can never have a child go through that again, and i could die if i get pregnant? help me..i feel like im being selfish but i dont want to leave my kids! is 28 too young to have hysterectomy? im in pain all the time and had an abortion about 2 months ago because i was scared that i would die or the baby would be as sick as my son.....is this bad? i feel horrible! please i need someone to talk to..help Tweet