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Psychology Today - How Will I know If I am Really in Love
 
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Psychology Today - How Will I know If I am Really in Love


How Will I Know I Am Really In Love?

Seven key indicators to know when you are in love.

In our many interviews with people “in love” we ask them the most revealing question of the interview – “When did you know you were in love?”  We have heard very consistent answers over our 26+ years of interviews with couples in love. There are seven key indicators to know when you are really in love:

1.  Physical:  People who say they are in love report getting “goosebumps,” “a palpating heart,” “sweaty palms,” “a tingling sensation all over my body.”  People in love have a positive physical reaction when they think about or see the one they love.

2.  Emotional:  When they think about or see the person they love most lovers report “an uncontrollable smile comes over my face whenever I see her,” and “I miss him when he leaves the room.”  People in love feel emotions for the person they love that they do not routinely feel for others.

3.  Positive worry:  Over the years, we continue to be amazed about the consistency with which people in love report to us that they “worry about their lover” when they are not around.  Thoughts about what we have come to call “positive worry” about the one they love begin to creep into their mind.

4. I-cannot-imagine-life-without-him:  This is the point in love when you begin to think about the future – your future with the one you love.  When you cannot imagine your life without her, you are in love!

5. Oneness of your relationship:  You begin to realize that you truly want this other person in your life. In our book, we refer to the notion of “turning two into one.”  Everything changes from you and me, to WE! 

6. Pre-occupied love:  Simply stated, you think about the one you love most of the time.  You can’t get them out of your mind.  You are in love with them!

7.  Love itself and your ability to express that love:  You finally have the courage to tell them you love them! You suddenly and out of nowhere are inspired to say I LOVE YOU!  I LOVE YOU!  I LOVE YOU!  You shout it to the stars. You are in love!

Authors of the best-selling book and multiple-award winning book Building a Love that Lasts: The Seven Surprising Secrets of Successful Marriage (Jossey-Bass/Wiley 2010) Available wherever books are sold.

Learn more about America's #1 Love and Marriage Experts

 

 
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