My most sincere apologies for my post - it DID read quite judgemental, and I am very sorry.
The point that I was trying to get at was that the OP obviously has issues with intimacy - not sexua| intimacy, just plain intimacy. Now, whatever the wife has done is her own responsibility, but in order to avoid making the same disastrous choices in a partner, again, it would be a very strong and courageous leap for the OP to engage in individual counseling. He cannot "fix" whatever is motivating his wife to cheat. The only person that he can control is himself and his choices. If he chooses to remain with someone who has breached his trust, then he'll be hard-pressed to maintain a healthy relationship with that person, on ANY LEVEL.