This is the first post of yours I've read, and have to applaud you in your courageous effort. It seems like you're going through some rough times, but I've learned that rough times in life are only temporary. All things have an ending, thank God. Acknowledging your feelings and keeping it real is important to avoiding living in denial, however. You must temper that with focusing on the positive and the end goal. What I've found to work for me is to have some goal in mind of achieving during my fasting. For example, set a goal to read a series of books, or learn something new - whatever catches your fancy, something to help keep you focused.
The best things in life don't come easy. You're headed in the right direction. Stay positive - keep it real - stay connected to this group - and you'll do fine.