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Now in Day 5
 

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Published: 11 years ago
 

Now in Day 5


Well, I have made it farther than I think I ever have before fasting. I think I am officially in new territory now. Twice in the past I've managed to work up to fasts of 4 days but only over periods of months during which I would fast for slightly longer periods each week and unfortunately suffer a lot as I overate between fasts and took a lot of enemas to relieve the suffering. I have to get really committed, really make a workable plan for breaking this fast without overeating, but it is amazing to see myself able to take a slightly longer fast at will... I think this means something has changed for me... I have perhaps become subconsciously committed to stopping the overeating. How am I going to break this fast? I have to make a plan. fruit/juices are pretty much out of the question for me due to my candida. I know if I took fruit/juices it would be a very painful disaster, too. I would really hurt myself. I simply could not control my consumption. Everybody is different. I need to find people who are similarly unable to eat even natural sugars in moderation. It isn't a character issue or a conscious eating issue. I can't do sugars. Simple as that. ... so I am left with the very unappetizing prospect of eating, to break the fast, not the ecstatic glass of (diluted, I know) fresh-squeezed orange juice, but like 3 bites of alfalfa sprouts... ugh. Of course, food is not something to get high on; I have to face this fact in life or else never get well; and if I have true hunger, the sprouts won't be objectionable, and if they are not tempting, they are really my friend -- a safe, non-triggering, moderation-supporting, health-promoting food. ugh. :) I just really have to resign myself to all this mentally/emotionally. This is very essential work for me. I think I can get so that I take PRIDE in respecting my body's limits. This pride will give me some emotional fulfillment that the overeating was previously, falsely supplying. However false the fulfillment was, I have to replace it with some other fulfillment. And once I start eating sparingly and stopping when my body says to stop, I will feel a lot better. Eating has to become something in which I do NOT seek "release." ... so the plan should be non-starchy sprouts every 4 hours. Am I able to stick to that??? Ummm.. no. I have to be honest or else I am really nowhere. But I have at least set down my ideal and know what I have to work toward. I should probably make a REALISTIC plan for fast-breaking. I should look at various plans and see if there are any I can use/modify. Some say to use tomatoes, but I think those are supposed to be bad for candida people. I have to address this task of making a break plan. Fasting isn't fun and games... it doesn't provide a license to binge... breaking a fast isn't an occasion for an orgy. ugh. :) I have to grow up. Breaking the fast is going to be even harder than the fasting itself.

I am still in bed. I don't feel absolutely horrible, but I can't really go anywhere. Still no b.m. I am realizing this may not come for a long time, so I may not feel better for a long time. I just can't... resolve to fast beyond 10 days, or maybe even 7, so I am not confident in having a b.m. at all during this fast. This fast I guess is just a laying of some groundwork for longer fasts. I have shown myself that I CAN get past 2,3,4 days and get into longer fasts , that really make a difference. I am just trying to create health. Whatever happens, I know I have benefited my body by seeing this fast through as far as I have.

Best regards to everyone. Powerray
 

 
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