Re: From the prospective of someone who was a child and

parents divorced. I was about 7 when my world fell apart. My mom and dad sat all 4 of us on the couch and gave us the news that dad would be leaving. My sister was the oldest at 9. My mom found a job and we found a new norm. But it was in no way easy and I carried the anger and resentment with me well into my mid 20's. To this day, the only reason I DON'T have a closer relationship with my dad is because of me. He tries, he really does. But I've lost that connection with him. The only reason I stay in touch with my mother is out of duty. She (and my father) are in their 70's. She is chronically ill with osteoporosis and recently diagnosed hashimotos. I also want my daughter to have a relationship with her. If it were not for my child, I would not have moved 200 miles to be closer to my mother. As it is, I only talk to her a few times a month.

My parents divorced in the 70's and I became a latch-key kid in middle school. As a teen, I took care of my younger brothers after school as she deemed me able to care for them and we didn't need a sitter any more. I've never really formed lasting friendships and my social circle is very small.

My mother left the marriage because she was "unfullfilled" not because my dad was abusive or a bad father. She married when she was 19 and had her first child in her late 20's. I don't know why she stayed married and childless if she was unhappy for so long and then went on to have 4 children only to divorce 9 years later. They say we pick our parents. I wish to heck I knew why I picked mine. I wished to heck why she even chose to bring children into a marriage that she was obviously unhappy in.

If you marry someone and realize its a mistake -- for god's sake DON'T HAVE CHILDREN and end the marriage. If the marriage is not abusive and you're not married to distructive addictive person -- then try to work it out. Marriage is HARD people. You have to consider the other person's feelings and desires. You have to grow with them. If you are too selfish to do that, then don't get married and for god's sake don't bring an innocent in this mess.



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