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Re: A process to reveal your beliefs/thoughts on abandonment
 
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Published: 11 years ago
 
This is a reply to # 1,548,815

Re: A process to reveal your beliefs/thoughts on abandonment


"Shift my code" could be the new hula hoop!

I second what Infinitelove said about you wombat and I also want to say that I find you completely genuine and very cool (and not just because you are a cute furry animal!)

I have shifted my code based around abandonment issues, so I know it can be done. It wasn't overnight, but I have done it and it is complete.

Although I don't understand your specific circumstances, I also went through massive abandonment issues from when I was 7 - when my father decided to pack all of us (from Malaysia) to the UK .. "for education" and thereafter I only experienced his presence at the most for 2 weeks each year and sometimes he was missing for several years at a time.

To make it worse, we had a very large extended family in Malaysia and we knew no one in the UK. It was a very isolating experience. I remember feeling like a complete alien. 

Within a few years, I went from a beautiful happy-go-lucky child into one who was so insecure that I used to hide when the phone rang .... and became grossly overweight, drinking spirits to boost my confidence (yup, age 9 and drinking whisky, vodka! etc. lol!!) .. eventually getting into the punk/anarchy scene so I could feel even more alienated and rebel against the world.

I eventually attracted all types of relationships which would make me feel the abandonment code over and over again ..... the last one being my ex husband, who walked out on me and our twin boys when they were 3. That was 13 years ago.
 
Before that .. (I now laugh to think about all the crazy things I did for Love!!!) I sought love and approval by any means necessary! And if I didn't get it, I would be in despair .. I would feel so much insecurity and also a lot of jealousy. My life was a complete misery ... wasting so much energy trying to 'perfect' myself into what I thought others might like. That also led to lots of addictive behaviours, compulsive eating and other destructive patterns ... I was a mess.

After my husband left ... I started to break the code. I didn't see it that way at the time, but something inside me knew it was time to stop recreating the same situations over and over again.

'Love yourself, heal your life' by Louise Hay was where I first started and ever since that time, I have been rewriting the codes in my life to something I want to create, rather than to focus on what seemingly was created for me at random.  

I now fully understand the power of such early negative situations ... that EVERYTHING that has happened to me is a cocreation. That I did create that reality ... not because I wanted something bad to happen to me, but because I wanted the lessons that abandonment could teach me.
 
Do you think a child comes into this world as a blank slate wombat? In my experience we come in as old souls, here to exerience, learn, expand, grow in strength and in consciousness. The most seemingly distructive events in our lives have been cocreated so that we can learn what we came for.

 
What do you think abandonment issues once gotten over will bring?

 
My answer is personal empowerment, self love, self acceptance, trust in the Universe. I have a LOT of that for myself and in my world now and that is why I teach it to others to. If I hadn't had all those contrasting years, how could I possibly have become who I am now?

I have been in the best relationship ever for over 8 years now - and that could not have come about if the code hadn't been broken. I have learnt to completely trust others and it's a wonderful feeling to feel so relaxed. And I no longer attract people into my life that would even trigger those types of fears ... because the code of that fear has been dissolved. Splat. Gone.

If you rewrite your story/code, then it will be easy to appreciate everything that has happened. Right now, you are holding onto the patterns of thought that won't allow a new understanding to come through. But you can do it, just like I did. Just remain open that there is a different truth out there that is not the one you are attached to right now.

Love

Maya XX

 

 
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