I hear you; I do. Everyday I hear your words louder and louder. I have been a survivor before and my motto became "don't let anyone hang anything over your head, if that's what a relationship becomes, things are the only power one has over you." And as my N even says "If you give them power over you that's how they get it." We watched Desparate Housewives lastnight; Edies husband snuck into the 70 year old womans house, moved a couple of things around so she'd know he had been there and laid a bat on the couch. She came home before the party and saw this, picked up the bat and met them all at the party; right as she walked in she swung the bat at him and they all thought she was crazy and he smiled. I looked over at my husband and he said "he's smart, he could make all of those people think she was crazy just by moving things around in her house." As I said, I'm hearing you louder and louder everyday.