Abusive wife

My wife has had Depression on and off for the last 5 years but since her father died three years ago - it has got worse. What makes things worse is that we have 3 children under 10 and her abuse of me in front of them and her abuse of them is making them ill. Now she's not physically abusive, well she hits the children and throws things at me but she's only hit me once in front of the children. She is, however, verbally abusive. I'm not sure that there is anything I can do (i won't leave her for two reasons:
1) I don't want to lose contact with my children and
2) I don't think the kids would be safe with me not there - at least I'm the main target of her abuse when she is stressed. If I left the kids would get it worse. I know I could sue for custody but I don't want to put the kids through that - they are going through enough at the moment.

Am I a wimp? Should I leav her and take the consequences - I don't know. I'm not even sure why I am posting - I'm not looking for an answer, I just want to let someone - anyone - know about this. I can't talk to my family about this and all my friends are her friends as well.
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