Re: I love you, but am I in love with you any longer?????

Sorry for adding another post to the one I just sent, but I reread a great deal of your original post and the very wise and insightful responses that were offered by all of the respondants.

This is just my personal opinion, but it's based upon personal and "professional volunteer" experience: you're living in an emotionally abusive relationship, without a doubt, which is even more damaging than physical abuse: physical abuse leaves marks and scars that "make sense" in that we can SEE the results of the damage that has been inflicted upon us. You're involved with an emotionally abusive narcissist - the whirlwind courtship, overabundance of romance early on, the sexual emphasis, the addiction to sex, the inappropriate sexual advances......ALL symptoms of a somatic narcissist.

The constant references to your "love" for him, and his for you are completely incompatible with the realities of your relationship. Your use of words are suggesting that you're attempting to convince yourself that there is a healthy love shared between you both that just does not exist. He doesn't love you any more than he would love a stray cat - you are his property, his toy, his Thing, and not a human being deserving of trust, honesty, respect, and encouragement. His accustion of an alleged affair is his way of taking the focus OFF of his behaviors and placing the spotlight on you: you are to blame; you are not trustable; you are unworthy of respect.

Although he may have given the p 0 r n a bit of a rest, I would suggest that he's taken his sexual appetite a step further and either engaged in his own affair, or is hiring prostitutes to act out the scenes that he has become so addicted to. Think it can't happen? It happens every day to hundreds of thousands of partners.

Now, you need to accept that you chose this guy and there ARE remedies. Your children are watching you - they are absorbing everything that they see, hear, and percieve. And, if you don't think that your children have been affected by your husband's appetite for sex and p 0 r n o g r a p h y, you need to get your head out of the sand - children absorb EVERYthing, whether they're there to visually see it, or not. They are watching you accept and endure emotional and sexual abuse, and they are going to develop into abusers or victims, as per their individual personalities. Remaining with this man is not doing you, or your children, any service. If you would like to discuss this more in-depth, I will invite you to send me a private message - I was married to an abusive narcissist/borderline sociopath for almost 15 years and I have some experience in Survival.

Again, my best wishes to you.

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