Re: I love you, but am I in love with you any longer?????

Ack....you were very young when you first married and experienced enormous tragedy - something that, as a very young woman, you probably were ill-prepared to handle, emotionally. Then, this guy comes along and it seems romantic, wonderful, whimsical, etc....

The reality is that the passion and romance cannot go on, indefinitely. We have the constant stresses of daily living that intrude in that brief time of romance and so forth. The reality is that the passion will fade and sex becomes rote, unless we have developed a healthy, loving, trusting relationship with our partners.

The addiction to p 0 r n is, sadly, all too common since the advent of internet access. Children are becoming addicted to p 0 r n when they are not prepared to process the information. p 0 r n can destroy a relationship simply because what is portrayed in p 0 r nographic videos and images is not, by any stretch of the imagination, based upon love. p 0 r nographic images are based upon male dominance (ever notice the size of those penises?), female submission, and risky sexual behaviors. You see teenaged girls engaging in heavy makeout sessions at dances, clubs, and other public places because they have been taught that female-on-female sexual activity is a turn-on to men. Do you see where I'm going with this?

Now, you're wondering if an intimate relationship with another woman might be a symptom of the state of your marriage. You are, indeed, in need of intimacy, but intimacy IS NOT SEX and SEX IS NOT INTIMACY.

It may be time to seek your own individual counseling, since he's refusing to attend. Obviously, he doesn't feel that your marriage, union, partnership, and companionship is worth working to save. Therefore, I would gently suggest that you take your own personal well-being into your own hands and choose to seek out who you are, what your goals are, what you want to accomplish, and how you'll move through the next 5 years into a wise, self-assured, independent woman - a definitely positive example for your troubled daughter.

Best wishes to you. Tweet