Re: Hey moonie!

Hi Moonie! I know what you mean about feeling the weight of doing all this healthy stuff. It takes A LOT of strength to do, more than what would be expected...the time, the preparation, the clean-up, and keeping the faith! That one gets hard at times....it's all very hard to do. So....we do the best we can. I think not being good all the time is okay, we're still heading in the right direction. I'm not always good, I try to be...but I'm not.

Sometimes you just need a break!

I think it's true that healing is on an emotional level too. But I realized an interesting thing in going through all this physical sickness...that the emotional components exist along with physical ones...they can't be separated.

For many years growing up, and into my 20's, I was always not quite happy, sort of sad, sort of...I don't even know, just not right. I had no physical symptoms yet, and I couldn't figure out why I was so depressed all the time? I thought maybe I had some personality problem. Ultimately I became physically sick. And that's when I felt this emotional-physical connection. My physical problems were absolutely effecting my mood before. I wasn't just sad because I had a problem with saddness, my body was telling me something, but it wasn't appearing as physical yet, just emotional. Then when all the physical things happened, I'd experience the emotional stuff over again too, the same things...only stronger. There was never a time that I didn't feel all the hopelessness and fear of my earlier years when I was having a physical panic attack, or a gall bladder attack, or just feeling very un-well. And when the physical symptoms left, so did the emotional, like nothing was ever wrong to begin with. It was bizarre. I could be in the depths of fear, and have them vanish like they were never there, once the physical symptoms were gone.

Gave me a new understanding of that I really didn't know before. I don't think there can be moods and emotions now without a counterpart in the physical.

It is interesting isn't it. I've never been too successful in working on it from the other way, on the emotions to effect the physical. I always found it difficult, but maybe I'll get better at it. It's probably something I need to focus on more too.

Take care and keep me posted....~megan



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