heartbroke over strained relationship

i have been a caretaker for my parents for last few years..i did not get involved romantically at that time-- too much for me to handle..my mom passed a year ago and i ran into someone i had knew in my hometown.. we hit it off and seemed like he was guardian angel for me..i have suffered Depression over mom's death and been very anxious..and sad.. i basically only have my father left - in nursing home and no children. this man has huge family and two children. I thought this was would be so great but in the end it has become a source of heartache.. he is involved with his family every day..they work and drink.. i am last on the list for the day.. i have tried to fit in.. meeting them at bars ( i am not a drinker) and i leave and he comes over hours later..he is bipolar and has alot of stress and anger issues,..
and seems like it is leading to more anxiety for me and Depression basically a viscious circle.. i have tried to talk with him many times regarding the control issues, drinking and drug usage.. he states he wants help and doesnt want to lose me. I know i am going thru alot also with menopause and grief.. seems like i cry all the time and he drinks all the time now..he went away with his family for a car rally and left me behind..he was angry and said i couldnt go and at last minute he called 30 times very angry and insisted i hurry up and get ready ..i didnt go .. i was in shock and just crushed .. am i wrong to feel this way.. are we toxic together? should i just give up.. i attach and have a hard time letting go of relationships because i feel isolated..as all my friends have married and all...i have been thru terrible anxiety for the last 4days.. Tweet