I really need to lose weight for my psychological being

It is 9:18pm on April 30, 2008. Tomorrow is May 1 and I really need to do about 21 days of fasting and lose some weight so I can feel better about my body for summer. It all seems to be a psychological thing, but there is something really blocking me. I can fast for 2 maybe 3 days, but I always will end up bingeing at the end of the fast. After bingeing, like right now, I feel like everything is dirty and I have a ritual of showering, brushing my teeth and writing in my journal. I really am tired of being 5'2'' and 130-140lbs. I want to weigh about 110-115lbs. I think that would be my ideal weight. I am really struggling though because fasting is easy for me on some levels but I always feel really weak when I do it. I have no energy to think or exercise and right now I have school for another 21 days. My last final is on May 21, 2008 and then I will be done with school, THANK GOD. I have found that it is really fun for me to fast and to watch the scale go down, but it is hard if I Have a lot of stress on me, like school. I really hate school, I feel like I am being brainwashed into being a zombie just like everyone else and i dont want to be a zombie anymore. I am wondering if anyone wants to start a fast with me, I think I will work on preparing myself to fast, and I will begin my fast on May 22, 2008 (thursday). I really cant fast until then because it would just be too stressful. Until then I would like to eat healthy, clean foods and eat very lightly, just enough to give me the energy to study and do homework. I am so tired of bingeing, I wish I could just be instantaneously healed and never binge eat again!!! Tweet