From the way I see it, the outbreaks during periods and sex are simply showing a more severe imbalance in your genital health. I do not see that it is your husband that is causing the problem, per se. If your reproductive organs were healthy and balanced, they would not be so susceptible to 'external' bacterial sources, i.e. of your husband's penis. To me, it seems that sex may simply be 'stirring up' vaginal bacteria. The same seems to be occuring during your period, when waste matter is flushed from the rep. organs.
The time of a woman's period brings up any issues that may be under the surface and bearable all other days. This may expose any physical and emotional disturbances.
Colon cleansing (enemas, colemas, colonics) are helpful for reproductive issues of any kind as they are in close proximity. The rep. organs may be absorbing waste overload from overwhelmed intestines. The vaginal infections may be symptomatic of broader organ and organ system toxicity (including intestines, liver, lymphatic system, etc).
Balancing ph with alkalizing minerals is an important component as well as is removing the excessive waste and toxins that are causing need for the excessive fungus in the first place. The rep. organs may rebalance themselves once the intestinal/liver/lymphatic systems are balanced. If you haven't begun already, I would encourage you to learn about autointoxication and organ cleansing. Curezone is a great place to start!
I have included a link to a post regarding Uttara vasti, an ayurvedic program of douching. It is primarily intended to help women return their monthly cycles to the natural new moon cycle and also to correct imbalances. You may be using some of these herbs already. Another highly recommended herb is Pau d'Arco.