I suspect I was sexually abused, but have no specific memory, but all the symptoms?????

Hi everyone,
I am posting becuz I have no specific memory of being sexually abused, but always wondered as I grew up what happened to me between the age of about 6 & 7. Its like a gap from what happened to make me so reactive all of a sudden. I don't remember any event or incident, but all of a sudden I was stricken with panic, scared to death to leave my parents and go to school. I HATED school. I developed a phobia of throwing up and everynight before bed would ask whoever was putting me to sleep if I was gonna throw up or if a scary man was gonna come get me in my sleep? All I remember is being so terrified to go to school, so angry at everything, my behaviour definitely changed and I became super rebellious and refused to go to school. IT was a fight every day for some time for my parents to get me there. I would scream and cry. I remember having such strong emotions, being soo scared and terrified, and angry. My older sister told me once I drew a picture of our family and I drew myself crying (at age 6 or 7?) Is that normal?. I remember feeling depressed and helpless, and being so embarrassed one day becuz my mom found a picture I had drawn of boobs and a penis, in my backpack, after school. I don't remember drawing it, just the shame of her finding it. The only other thing, is I have this flash memory of being shown pubic hair. It feels as if it couldve been my babysitters or something all sitting around and comparing!? but this doesnt make any sense to me. I also used to have this weird habit of touching my chest (nondeveloped breasts) and fondling my nipples, alot. I would do it in public and was constantly told by my family to stop. It became this habit.
And all of my Barbie playing was always sexual (being sexualized). It hardly ever strayed on that. I remember taking out my aggression on my dog one time, god its so painful to even admit that, but it was like I was acting out, not knowing what made me that way.
I've lived my whole life, with that time period being such a mystery. Never being able to figure out what made me so angry and scared & shameful. The school thing got so bad, my parents were going to take me to a childrens recovery hospital or something, to stay for a week or two and I just remember begging them on the way there not to take me, that I would be good.
My parents were never abusive. My dad was an alcoholic and mom, a workaholic, my family was dysfunctional, but there wasn't physical abuse.
What is the objective perspective. I feel I have ALL the symptoms of sexual abuse, but no memory here, what is going on do you think?
Any answers, feedback would be beyond appreciated. Thank all so much for reading. Its so weird for me to type this out, but I feel as though, I've never been able to get to the bottom of this...

Thank you

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