Re: From The Biggest Loser On Curezone

Hi Hop --

It is so hard for me in this instance to pray for this person who resorted to ugly name-calling toward you -- one of the people on this site in partucular has spent a lot of time "e-holding" my hand and offering experience and encouragement around so many of these processes. And with your usual good cheer and real kindness, which is devoid of impatience or intolerance (even whn I am quite positive that around those Liver Flushes last winter, for instance, I could be quite trying and intolerable in my confusion and fear).

I recently had a huge resentment somewhat similar to this anonymous name caller's so I feel very to put myself in his shoes. I am not sure of the context of the "loser" comment but I do know that after writing a lot about this resentment (i.e. where I really thought my mother-in-law was outdoing even her own self in terms of being self-centered and selfish...) and then going through with my spiritual advisor, at the bottom of all of my name calling (at least in my head and not on paper or electronically!) was a bevy of fears. And that is my guess as to why this guy decided to call you a loser.

He may have fear of rejection, fear that he will never be as "well" as those who practice protocols more rigorously, fear of you old-timers who have been doing this for years, etc. He may be closed-minded -- if your experience does not match his expectation, then he might be pissed off and resort to ugly and mean behaviour (a la the great axiom "hurt people hurt people." He may be one who is that saddest case of all -- a person who is so angry they know no other way than cutting people down. I've been there (temporarily, thanks be...) and it is one of the most isolating and horrible feeling there is.

Whatver the case, I *will* am going to pray that he is removed of all his fears so God can commence to take over, and that this guy feel the relief in giving up the business of directing his life. Too, I will ask that he shares what he did with another and with God and moves on into making right his wrongs (of which your being branded a loser is probably only one of many!)

Another favorite saying of mine is "surrender to win" -- Turn it over -- your life, and it must be the whole kit and caboodle, not jsut the parts one likes -- to a loving God, and begin to experience life as a joyous proposition again (for the first time since I was a child in my case). I always know you yourself have "surrendered to win" because of your estimable humility while in complete dedication to serice to others around here.

This poor fellow sounds so miserable and I know for a fact that approaching you with an apology would be the healthiest, most brave, and most productive thing here on the whole entire site. Treat the spiritual, as they say, and then mental and physical will follow.

What has been helpful to me when I have felt that CZ has fallen prey to too much ego and not enough unity and dedicatin to the primary purpose of each forum, chaos, confusion, and petty/rude behaviour begins. During those times I do try to stay away rom the arguments or controversy and to only offer experience and hope, and how it can help others who might be newer and afraid when they arrive at CZ (I sure was...). And also during those times I do my best to keep my trap closed (I imagine this is not a challenge for you as it is for me, of course.) `

I'm sorry you have fallen vistim to the old "you spot it, you got it" trap -- the bottom line to me sounds like this guy is full of fear that he won't meansure up, which can reach into every nook and cranny of our lives. If I think I'm a loser (i.e. am angry all the time, intimidated by others -- to the point of calling them names! And a stranger who is trying to be helpful -- isolating an failing to form intimate adult relationships, etc. I am going to want a little company. SO this is really a testament to your own ability to help and reach people that got you in the loser pickle.

I wish I was a loser like you. Please don't go away for long!

Laura

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