I can relate to a lot of that. It takes time and suffering to deprogram oneself from what is pounded into our heads from childhood. It took me a while to really trust my own intuition and see Big Medicine for what it really is. And of course to realize that no one on this earth has my best interest but myself.
Some people who come to Curezone are still in the denial stage of realizing that they have been sold out their whole lives by "experts" and have been manipulated for financial gain. Having to deprogram oneself is a bit like starting over in grade school to relearn a whole different set of basics. Basics that historically were taught to us at an early age by our tribes and families, before unchecked capitalism and special interests gained so much power.
It's good that you have your heart in your work Torrie. Most people don't get much satisfaction from their work other than through financial gain and necessity. Which, ironically is why we were poisoned with mercury in the first place.