Re: Cheater, but I have a son with him... :(

If I were in your situation, I would contact the nearest women's shelter, immediately. I've read responses to this suggestion where someone obviously had a bad experience at a shelter either because of mismanagment of the shelter or because they, themselves, refused to accept the reality that Life was not "fair" and that, regardless of what they felt they "deserved," they actually had to accept help from a source outside of their Selves. Shelters are just that: a temporary place that provides a roof over a victim's head (and, those of her children), food in their mouths, and resources for employment, safe housing, legal help, counseling, etc. Shelters can NOT provide permanent shelter OR the will to survive - they are only temporary places of refuge and should not be confused with anything loftier.

Once I got to the shelter, I would seek the advice of an attorney - most attorneys work pro bono (at no cost) to victims of domestic violence and abuse, and the shelters can provide assistance for legal resources. At that time, I would be able to determine my legal recourses and possible remedies. In which country my child was born may determine what remedies are available - right now, every action that I took would be solely for the safety of my child and my Self. Nothing - no house, no alimony payment, no vehicle, NOTHING is worth risking the lives of my child and my Self to remain.

Today, you have a choice as to whether you will take the steps to get your Self and your child to safety, regardless of what you may (or, may not) lose. In any event, the sperm donor of your precious child will have to pay child support until the child is of legal age, and, perhaps into his/her college years. For me, I "lost" a great many material things, but I saved my Self and those things that I "lost" can easily be replaced, including family heirlooms.

In any event, I would get OUT as soon as I logged off of my computer (taking my frigging computer WITH me) to a shelter, to an attorney, and into a position of employment YESTERDAY, and the rest will have to work itself out.

Best wishes for you and your precious child. Tweet