Hi Kat,
Welcome to your awakening.
It sounds like you have found your "choosen" path, now just stay on it.
Most families are dysfunctional, it seems to be what society calls the norm now a days. Everyone looses someone sooner or later. It is important to remember that they, are not the ones lost, we the living are. Depending on your views of life and death, can make a world of differnece. Your "lost" loved ones are in the Spirit world the place all humans call home, our real home. They will still be there when you return.
Life is about lessons and experiences and to become whole and one with God, we must all complete many lifetimes of these lessons and experiences, the good, the bad and the ugly. But with each accomplishment we make as a human we take one step closer to becoming the pure energy of love, that we all so desire. It is a process, a very long process and sometimes it call be lonley and cause a wide range of emotions from sadness (depression), to feeling of isolation and heart ache.
If you take a moment and look back at all the obstcales you have made it through, you should feel a great deal of accomplishment. You are a survior and you should contiune on the path your on, don't be surprised if more obstacles jump out at you that does not mean your off the path.
That little voice you may hear in your head from time to time. Unless you have been diagnosed with a personality disorder or another serious mental illness, listen to it. You know the one, the voice that quiets your fears and gives you comfort during your darkest hours. It is real, very real. Whether it be your spirit guide or gaurdian angel it's ALWAYS there with you. Talk to it, you might be pleasently surprised when it answers back. That doesn't always happen, sometimes you have to look for the signs (answers) else where, but they will be so prominet there will be no mistakeing it.
You have began a beautiful journey. Just go with the flow and enjoy the ride.
I hope I have helped you in some way.
Take what you can use and leave the rest.
Blessings,
Libra