oh wo is me---i am so ashamed of myself and did not want to post here today but thought if i didn't it would look like i was also a coward instead of being just a failure. i was on day 4 today and while i was at work (0420 am) i had an apple. i had the worst headache all day and night while at work and i just caved. i came home at 0700, went to bed and woke up at 2:00pm. i will start all over again and try not to fall. i really want to make it to december 23rd. i know an apple is not going to make me gain weight and it is healthy for me but i just feel like i am weak, and a looser. why did i not have the strength to turn away, why did i have to crumble? i let myself down and those that were cheering me on. dear marion, i am the most ashamed to tell you--you have been such a great inspirator for me and always have words of support and praise for me and then i do this! i ran 3 .5 miles as sson as i woke up to help burn up the apple and kick up the metabolism. hope that worked. well i have to go--have to be back to work at 6:30 tonight and have a few things i have to do. God bless everyone here and i am sending support. love olivia.