Im sure you guys on here get alot of people complaining about how much they dont have sex, but heres another one.
My girlfriend and I have been going on for 4 years now, Im 20 and shes 18 now. We took things real slow when we first started going out, and didnt have sex for the first 2 years. Well, our relationship has been pretty much perfect. We both understand each other real well, know what makes each other tick, ect.
This past summer, she didnt know if she wanted to go out with me anymore, so I tried to givee her the space she needed to make her decision, but by nights end she'd always be certian about us, and I believed her. She ended up getting weird like this 4 times over the summer, and I stuck by her. It hurt to hear her say what she was saying, but I loved her so much that I wasnt willing to lose what we had. After telling her I wasnt going to go through what she was putting me through again, she sat down and really thought about it and decided to stay with me.
When I asked her what she thought the problem was, the only thing she could come up with that had some significance was that she felt like she was only having sex with me to make me happy, even when she didnt want to. I had no idea she didnt want to.
So we talked about it and I told her I dont want her to have sex with me when she doesnt want to, because it means alot more to me when she wants to. So everythings prefect again between us, except now we have sex 2 times or so a week, which is fine with me.
Once we both went back to school, we started having sex once a week, which is a little infrequent for me, but Im not going to let it ruin our relationship. About a month ago, I noticed that we were only having sex on Saturday nights, no other times... which made me think that she was again only having sex with me to make me happy. So I asked her about it and she said that wasnt the case and that she did want to.
After we talked about it that night, its dropped to once every 2 weeks, and I cant handle it. I feel like everytime I see her now I have to have sex with her, and I cant just enjoy being with her becasue its always on my mind. Before this summer, if I really wanted to have sex with her and she didnt, she would give me oral or something to hold me over, which I loved.
It seems as though now shes not trying to make me happy, and she expects me to be ok with that. I feel like a jackass telling her I need more sex, and I cant imagine that being a reason for us to break up. I just wish she would be willing to make me happy still. I dont want her to have sex with me, I want her to WANT to have sex with me. I dont know if its my sexual frustraions or not, but it seems like she has gotten more self centered over the past year or so.
Ive tried talking to her about it, and nothing comes of it, just that she'll try. Ive treid being real nice (I usually am). Last night I made her dinner and cared a pumpkin that said "I *heart* you" on it, and she loved it, but I got nothing for it. The other night she wasnt feeling good so I gave her a body massage and got nothing for it.
Does anyone have any good sugguestions on how to make things better?