How do you tell family and friends? 
WorkingVaca
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I was raised by Christian parents who said grace before every dinner. Late in high school I began to question the religion. By college I stopped believing that Jesus was God and embarked on many years of agnosticism. Finally, I've reached the atheist mark. I find it interesting how long it takes to fully shake off all the "values" instilled in us when we're young.
Now, I'm just wondering how to tell people if they ask. Especially American Christians. Especially my family. They tend to believe you're doomed if you don't believe Jesus is the "lord and savior" and will hound and pressure you to go back to church, shake their heads in pity, "pray for you," etc.
Should I even bother telling somebody if they ask the annoying questions: Are you a Christian? Do you go to Church?
Should I just say "yes," "none of your business," "I'm uncomfortable talking about religion" or just plain "No, I'm atheist."
I'm especially concerned about my family when I visit at Christmastime. I haven't been Christian for many years but I go through the motions just out of family tradition. I don't feel a great need to tell unless I'm asked. But if I'm asked, what is a gentle way to break it to them without them panicking over the state of my soul?
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- Re: How do you tell family and frien... MrCooties
20 y
2,671
MoreThis is a reply to # 269,666I've always been an atheist, but I can remember at the age of 10 saying I was a Christian becuase I felt pressured from my Christian peers. What I did was wrong. I think it is unhealthy to deny who you are and what you believe.
If someone does ask, I usually say "I'm not religious" and leave it at that. I tend to avoid debating - arguing religion solves nothing and usually ends up offending people and their belief systems, and even a healthy religious debate will go on for eternity with nothing gained. You can't argue logic and proof with someone who bases their beliefs on a lack of logic or proof (faith).
I'd tell your family and stand firm on your beliefs if they ask. Being an atheist is nothing to be ashamed of. Quite the contrary actually.
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- Re: MrCooties, swing71
20 y
2,569
This is a reply to # 269,667You wrote,
You can't argue logic and proof with someone who bases their beliefs on a lack of logic or proof (faith).
I ask,
What is your logic and proof?
- SWING Do YOU KNOW WHAT SUPPORT FORU... Grog 20 y 2,424
- Re: MrCooties, MrCooties
20 y
2,505
This is a reply to # 269,690Swing - your question answers itself. It also answers my original post. Don't think too hard now! ;)
- Re: MrCooties, swing71
20 y
2,569
- Re: How do you tell family and frien... #28427
20 y
2,704
This is a reply to # 269,666Advertisement
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I have always been amazed by this so Christian American habbit to think that there can't be anything possible at all, but be a Christian, accept Jesus in your heart, bla bla bla ...
well, if you think different, then you believe it, so you don't need to tell and explain what you believe at all.
Christians think that you are doomed if you don't believe in God, and in some way want to force the others to do like them, I suppose that they want to gain another chance to get to paradise by saving other poor souls ;o)
Well, let them think what they think, you want change them anyway, never mind to bother them and get them bother you.
When I am asked about this, I just say I don't believe in God, and if the person insists I turn my back and don't listen and give any ground of debating, they have to change their behaviour.
If I am tolerant enough to let others believe things that I personnaly think as stupid and useless, they have to respect my own choice, if not, I am not going to let them ennoy me.
But I don't need their opinion or their acceptance, so I don't speak about my beliefs unless I am asked, and if they are not happy with it, they turn away and go their way.
I think that beliefs is as personal like sex life, everybody has one, but everyone keeps it private. So it is.- Re: How do you tell family and frien... Karlin
20 y
2,536
This is a reply to # 269,674I think it is important to the concepts of freedom to actually say "I am athiest".
I know the anxiety of telling family, a "pray over dinner every time" chrstian family, [ya me too!].
I never really did. I told dad I didn't believe in the devil, that it is an idea jsut to scare people. I still think that is a start, and see how they read that thought.
Its really a shame that we have to call ourselves "athiests" ata ll, as it still refers to god ["not-god" = "a-thiest"].
it shows how dominated by christianity we are. Stand up whenever you see a show of faith in god, and show that you do not need such a crutch, it will give others the strength to free themselves of that dangerous old doctrine.
But you know to avoid insult - DON'T tell your family that The easter bunny, the tooth fairy, and Santa Claus are other fantasies on the level of god and the devil....
Christians do seem to be particularaly insecure about non-believers. Its really nuts the way they think we all have to be saved.
They throw out terrible fearfull ideas at us. yesterday ai was told that "I would want to die but would not die" after telling someone named FEAR GOD that I was an athiest.
Thats just not right, it will freak some people out too much, and it will freak anyone out in a certain frame of mind. It is disturbing.
Christianity is disturbing.So are other religions and fantasies.
Karlin- Re: How do you tell family and frien... disturbance
17 y
2,634
This is a reply to # 269,759"Atheist" is indeed a bit old fashioned of a word. I'm therefore happy to have a specific "tag" for myself: existentialist.
- Re: How do you tell family and frien... disturbance
17 y
2,634
- Re: How do you tell family and frien... Karlin
20 y
2,536
- Re: How do you tell family and frien... MrCooties
20 y
2,671
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