Hello. Consider the option of talking with your doctor to trial medication for any depressed state while you are dealing with this nightmare.
It does help me. I find that the days when I feel hopeless and fear that I cannot go on, I can increase the dosage slightly and it helps me move forward and keep going.
I only say this as you mentioned you are feeling very depressed.
This is a physical condition caused by reduced serotonin and dopamine, which has come about because of the terrible physical and psychological trauma of your condition.
It happens because of a constant production of cortisol in response to the stress.
It does not mean you will always have Depression
or always need to take some medication for it, if you are prescribed some now.
it can be a short term thing, which is weaned off when you gain a cure or when you feel you have it fully under your control and feel hopeful of a cure.
Don't let yourself suffer psychologically. It is not good for your immune system. The SNRI's and SSRI"s support your nervous system and brain function while you get the time to sort through the maze of what will work for you and your particular condition.
Don't see it as weakness, see it as sensible. Because it is sensible and you will have total control over how you manage it. it will help you think clearly and be able to make your decisions and sort our dosages etc.
I encourage you to have a chat with your doctor about this option. I feel it will help. See if your doc agrees and make a note on your calendar for a date when you want to review if anti-depressant support is still necessary. This will give you a sense of mastery and control over what happens in your life. You are the boss of how to look after yourself, don't let yourself see it as being weak.