Pastor Charles I am in mental anguish, I feel this as injustice and don't tell me it isn't. If you reckon I don't deserve the grace to be ridden of this burden, in comparison to many that live today, I know I am.
As to why there's no need asking the old man upstairs for help any more, when your faith has actually failed you, don't misinterpret what I mean, I believe in God but faith that he gives a damn about me is so far gone that I don't bother looking for it any more. I feel useless with this affliction call it what you will.
I struggle understanding what love means in the bible, am even starting to believe in reincarnation because there must be a valid reason as to why i have to put up with this bull$***.
Moses suffered a similar fate yet I don't understand why he had the issue with the tongue and he even asked and was told basically to stfu. Recall carefully how I swear its Paul was given the thorn in the flesh to keep his head in check, he prayed and God answered him directly telling him not to pray for the ''thorn'' to go away. That surprised me but a few lines later something along the lines of how Gods power is made 'Perfect' in our 'Weakness' arises and i then looked back to Moses (it didn't make sense) because we still cannot as humans comprehend how our weakness and pain makes God's power perfect.
Perfect example of this in show is Christ, the passion and death on the cross was pure weakness yet God's Perfect power in that case would have been our Salvation, I understand that but Moses's as well as mine does not make sense, and if i can't understand why am in pain or how God's power is made perfect in my life, what's the point.
As your a pastor, i personally ask you to make sense of the following and give me some more examples from the bible and possibly from your experience.
But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. 2 Corinthians 12:9 (NIV)
Mate, i don't see how Gods power is working in my life, he designed me with these weaknesses, and if your on this board you know how hard it is to talk to people and if i can't talk to people hence communicate effectively with them, at least give me a proper hint as to wtf my god given task is .. am all ears
And that’s what life seems to be like these days: a series of prayers that not only go unanswered or rejected, but also seem to require some form of divine punishment for even daring to make them. Why? I suspect that I’m personally the butt of some sick, heavenly joke.