Thanks gavin. yeah, i don't think it was the drugs, it may had a small bit to do with it, but not much. I mean i use to drink monster and red bull energy drinks too, particularly before excercising. There's a whole lot of other stuff.

I'm pretty bumed out right now. I hate sharing depressing thoughts on this forum but there is really no other place to vent for me. i've vented too much elsewhere and used up all my brownie points with people. It's like there's something in me that just says i wish i could just die, i'm tired of all this. i hate what i've become.

I'd rather live, live a healthy life like never before. live 110% healthy again. I'm just fighting to keep my sanity. Everyday is beginning to feel like everyday. it's like i got no purpose and no productivity.

I bet most people with AF are driven people that want to achieve something in life. Smart people in general who who are strong willed. THat's what got me, that's what made me crash: I AM A STRONG WILLED INDIVIDUAL. Though my body was weak the past 3 years my mind was like "No way, i ain't stopping, i'm gonna keep pushing myself till i get what i have planned for." I'm gonna get this degree, get out of debt, help my wife and kids, give to those in need, and basically live out my dream to simply have a little peace of mind and a little bit of control. Stop relying on my mother for financial assistance. The list goes on man, i just want out of this mess.

Sorry everybody, just had a bout with some tears and had to vent. I'm my normal curezone self again. Ask me anything.LOL

yo boy los

All of those "hippies" became "yuppies" in the 80s and did mounds of cocaine.