Bless me blog for I have been bad and did not write
very much during my last Master Cleanse. It felt good
not to pressure myself to report every nuance of detox
reality. Still, I would like to offer this progress
report to encourage others as they continue on their
own healing path.
This last fast was 28 days long. I had expected to go
30 but by day 25 had been experiencing non-stop stomach
growling, and after 3 days, made the choice to break on
day 28. I feel really good about that choice and felt I
did the right thing. Remaining flexible is also a victory
since it enables me to change my mind, often for the
better, and not feel disappointed. It was/is a good lesson
to firmly ingrain...
As many know, I consider my efforts at cleansing, and
rebuilding my health, as a long term project. I have been
at this for 10 years now, after a diagnosis of colon cancer
in 1997. This year was my third year of doing an annual
long Master Cleanse. I have done shorter cleanses in between
and early this year, did a ten day cleanse to bring myself
back into balance after the Christmas holi(daze). This last
cleanse was unique in that I felt it really took me to a deeper
level of cleansing. I have been diligent in getting my parasite
cleansing in this year, and quite a bit of liver flushing, and
a concerted effort to improve my diet. I have included good
plant based oils, LOTS of pure water, and oil pulling, and iodine
therapy. It is difficult to say what did the most. I do feel
everything helped and contributed to my confidence and well
being. Sometimes, over and above the benefits of the different
methods I have been using, is ingraining the *habit* of the
day to day things like exercise and body-brushing, etc. It
can be challenging to get everything in, and most times I
do not. Still, with focus, more habits are reinforced, and
others improve as my focus and time allows. This year, I
found it easier than ever to stay focused and to continually
bring myself back to my wellness path, and balance...
One major difference this year, also, was that I felt
like I had really turned a corner and that progress on
*coming clean* was significant. I experienced more mucous
than I have ever seen in my life, and right up to the day
I broke, I was still sloughing down sludge and old debris.
It reminded me of Somer's experience where she shared it
took her 3 years to achieve regaining her "pink colon".
I did have a day which was rather alarming, and yet, it
was the turning point for me. I do not know if it was a
blockage or what happened inside, but I had been resting
and suddenly, I felt like my inner thermostat had been
turned up to high. My body became super overheated and I
felt very faint. I quickly got up and drank some water.
All alarms in my body began to go off. I do not think I
could have felt much worse than I did in those moments.
I was truly on the verge of blacking out. I decided I
need to get to the kitchen for an ice pack. It is not
such a far walk but I kept feeling like I was going to
fall over. I needed something cold though as my system
was tilting faster than I could think. I made it to the
kitchen, but even hanging onto kitchen chairs did not
seem safe enough. I laid on the floor in front of the
refrigerator. I reached in for the first thing I could
grab and it was a bag of coffee beans. I laid on the floor
and used the bag like an ice bag for a minute or two. I
left the freezer door open as the coolness gushing air
over my body felt comforting. I was still woozy and still
elt faint. I have only experienced this level of discomfort
one other time in my life when I had injured myself and
blacking out was my body's way of dealing with the intense
pain. I was at a loss to determine why or what was happening
to me now to cause this, but I could not have even used the
phone, it was happening so quickly. I found the ice packs
and thought, I need to get back to my air conditioned room
and lay down. It was not easy to make my way back and that
too, was alarming. I had never read anything about this being
a part of the detox, but of course, knew it had to be. I
enjoy exemplary health for the most part. Laying down on
my bed did not do much to relieve the feeling that I was
having a super hot flash. I have not had a hot flash in
over 12 years and have only had two in my life but this
was even worse than either of those brief episodes.
Certainly the feeling of blacking out was the most
worrisome since I was concerned I might hit my head
or injure myself. I also did not think this episode
was hormonal since hot flashes do not make one feel
like they are blacking out. What I decided to do which
turned out to be the best thing was to go lay in the tub.
I did a sitz bath, running cold water down the area between
y navel and my butt. Having a hand held shower made this
easy and I really feel that it saved me. It took probably
twenty minutes but I could feel the core temperature of my
body come down. Everything felt like it stabilized and finally
I was able to get up out of the tub and back into bed. I know
it is hard to imagine being grateful for that experience, but
I am. It really seemed to be a turning point for me and once
through it, the cleanse really sped things up and it sort of
felt like cleaning one's gutters. Once the main clog of leaves
was dealt with, the cleansing went smoothly and energetically,
I felt different.
I only added one thing to the cleanse this time. I continued
to paint Lugol's iodine on my body. I did 4 days on, three
days off. I had been trying to up my dosage and get past
the intensity of some of the detox symptoms. The Master
Cleanse seemed a no brainer since it used the Vitamin C
loading AND the salt loading. I was successful in finding
my balance there and post cleanse, have really been detoxing,
enjoying smelly, cloudy urine, a positive sign of detox. I
have only had one episode post cleanse of the detox feeling
too intense and that was because I had been pushing it and
had failed to put in my days *off* Lugols. For me, finding
a way to do the protocol and achieving a balance was a major
victory. Hard to tell, but I am imagining that the Master
Cleanse played a big part in helping the Lugols work better.
Most likely it is because my body is absorbing the Lugols
better or is responding to it more effectively. Whatever
the reason, it has worked. I can recommend doing it if you
have been using iodine for a long enough period that you feel
comfortable knowing how your body reacts to it.
Post cleanse, I have continued to find progress. I have
continued to lose weight, but also have continued to
exercise and my food choices have still been good. Where
I live, in Texas, we have been having lots of rain, weeks
and weeks of rain, and so, living on a dirt road, I have
been walking to the highway to get my mail. When our road
gets saturated, unless you have 4 wheel drive, you are not
getting out. Even the 4 wheel drive vehicles are getting
stuck now. Anyway, slugging through the mud, it is a 45
minute walk to get my mail and come home. If I am sending
out mail, I have to make two hikes, one to put mail in the
box and another to retrieve the incoming mail. Certainly,
I would not need to go everyday, but I have found the walk
to be something I do not mind for the most part. I try to
go out during a time when the heat is not at its highest.
Still, it feels good to come home and have to peel off my
clothes since I am soaked with sweat. Three years ago,
I was someone who found it difficult to work up a sweat,
so this is such a good sign for me...
Post cleanse, I added my probiotics, *Primal Defense*, but
also used plain yogurt, and kimchi. I made myself 3 quarts
of kimchi and it will not be long before I make some more.
It is a great way to get good bacteria into one's gut and
I found it very beneficial, as well, tasty~! About a week
after I broke, when I began adding more solid foods, I also
began using LLB, lower bowel balance. I had never done that
before and laugh as I wonder, why not? It really felt
healing and I only took two each night. I really feel it
helped me transition smoothly, and whatever herbs are in
the formula really have soothed the little digestive jags
I was feeling.
I did my liver flush and was happy to see, for the most
part I was pretty clean. I had a few stones and a little
chaff but nothing to brag about...ggg. I had done so much
liver flushing this last year, I felt good that during my
cleanse, my liver had not called attention to itself.
Perhaps it is also all the plant based oils too I was
using to improve my liver function. I use hemp oil and
coconut oil a lot. I did get a dozen of organic eggs and
plan on doing a week of the egg and lime juice liver
flushing starting this next week. For now, my complexion
is glowing and I feel like I have a pretty happy liver.
One other way I had prepared for my post cleanse was
to order a food processor. I also collected recipes to
use since I had really grown tired of my own cooking and
needed to shake the menu up, so-to-speak. I have not had
a raging appetite, thank you coconut oil, and so it has
been easier for me to plan meals having a good book of
choices. I went online and found lots of great recipes
which I then copy and pasted into word files so I could
make my own cookbook. I collected raw recipes and vegan
recipes, as well, recipes I remembered as favorites from
when I was a child. This recipe link is a great one,
http://www.kitchenlink.com/
as well this one,
http://www.living-foods.com/recipes/
I also found books online, on ebay, which I found inspiring
and new to me. I had recently bought myself a new cast
iron wok and so stir-frying and healthy wraps seem to
appeal to me.
One thing I did not anticipate, although, I should
have expected, was that emotionally I was again tossed
into the pit to duke it out with myself. My tact in
dealing with the HUGE emotional losses and traumas of
my life are/were to ignore them. This obviously does
not really work well for the body and so, unless one
finds ways to acknowledge them and ways to release
them, those feelings will keep inspiring emotional
eating or (dis)ease processes. For me, soaking in a
tub and then letting it all go when I pull the plug
works. On the days when the sun comes out, I go out
and sunbathe which really helps my mood too. Gentle
meditation and dancing around my thoughts and feelings
have helped. There have been tears of good remembering
as well as the painful remembering. I find myself
reaching out for change and healing though. The cleanse
made it easier for me to embrace change and to think in
positive ways. Even though I am moving ahead, my goals
are based on my past when before I was involved in a
serious car wreck, I was on top of the world physically
and emotionally. I want to get back to those feelings
again and for the first time, in a long time, I feel
like I am heading in a good direction. This last Master
Cleanse has really helped my knee heal in a way that
previously has eluded me. Last year, it was a challenge
to walk to my neighbor's house. Walking to the highway
would not have been possible. This year, my knee will
squeak every so many days when I push it. I have been
using my bike in a trainer to get in more exercise but
too often go too far for my knee's comfort, so am still
seeking balance there. For the most part however, I am
thrilled at the level of healing I have achieved. In my
past, surgery was the only option offered until I turned
to chiropractics and acupuncture. I know running is not
in my future, but walking is fine and now that I am
ingraining the habit of walking, I will continue it.
The only other main difference with this cleanse was
that I did the lax tea in the morning more than I did
the SWF. The tea seemed to loosen up more for me and
I was also pretty hard core and would boil up one bag
of Chocolate Smooth Move and it would make a huge mug
of tea. I would add some drops of stevia and did that
morning and night, doing a SWF only every 3rd or 4th
morning. Like I have said previously, being flexible
is important, and listening to one's body and charting
a cleansing course can be very important for success.
This being my third year of Master Cleansing, I can
also really see the value of a long term plan to fast
once a year. Each year's cleanse has been unique and
set the bar for the rest of the year relative to where
I want to be headed with my goals. Of course, my main
goal is to achieve and maintain wellness. My secondary
goals are to strengthen my body and to regain a level
of function which I had previously worked to reach
prior to the accident. So far, I have seen only progress.
I admit the emotional detox has been the more difficult
aspects for me. Some days I wish to wring the neck of the
16 year old having a drug and alcohol party in his parents
car. His choice impacted my life in such a significant
way. Obviously, I did not spend enough time grieving those
losses, and shifts, although too, it seems now I am ready
to accept my situation and recognize that doors have opened
and that I really can stop holding my breath so-to-speak. I
never really dwelled on the what ifs of what happened, with
the exception of having to have somone retrieve my belongings
from Florida as I had moved half my stuff there and had made
arrangements for housing etc. to go to massage school. That
shift was something I had *had* to think about. Otherwise,
I remember negotiating with God....about the pain and wanting
to be able to walk again. I had broken a cervical fusion in
my neck years in the 70's, and it had taken 10 year to
re-fuse. I had acclimated to the pain since the heavy duty
drugs needed to damp it down also made it impossible for
me to function. Being revisited by that pain was sobering
and I remember wishing and hoping that it would be short-lived.
To that effect, I spent my savings to achieve a level of
wellness which was worth more than the money in the bank.
It was worth it and after a year of therapy, I can honestly
say, I felt better than before the accident relative to neck
and back pain. Still, somewhere deep in my psyche, I hid the
anger and the sense of tragic loss that came in that split
second. I feel like this cleanse really touched on many
of the issues I had stuffed down and whose pain I had used
food to numb and ignore.
My other progress has been the great sense of calm I
have felt. Notwithstanding the emotional feelings which
I knew were emotional detox, I felt a sense of calm in
allowing those feelings to surface and without cover
of food, to allow myself to look at them and to think
about what happened. As with all hindsight, it was
easier to accept my own choices and to feel better
about what happened in the aftermath of those times.
I also recognized that my friend, who had invited me
to come stay with her, asked to to stay here so I would
have time and space to heal these inner wounds, as certainly,
if I were somewhere else, with lots of distractions, I
would keep running from the pain. The feeling of standing
at the edge of the ocean and allowing the water to wash
over me, knock me down some, and find me still willing to
stand again for another cycle, has been empowering. I
was not ready last year to go to this level, but this year,
it has felt so natural and appropriate.
I look forward to next year already. In the time between
now and then, I plan to continue my iodine supplementation,
oil-pulling, focus on better diet and exercise. I hope to
be in more control at the holidays, and to continue reaching
outside of myself for ways to emotionally cope with feelings
and situations where, in my past, I would have found the
most relief in a bowl of Ben & Jerry's Cherry Garcia~!
I have also resumed my experimentation with eating clay
and so will continue to discern and reap the benefits of
that therapy...
I have fallen in love with the idea of progress. I feel
like I am on a roll, albeit, a slow roll at the moment.
I am consistent in many ways and hope to achieve an even
higher level of consistency as I continue to integrate
the benefits of this last cleanse.
I wish to thank Seunim for his encouragement & especially
in sending me info on how to make kimchi. I have asked for
a fermenting crock as a gift and hope to continue to use
that method as a way to incorporate good bacteria into my
system which is not dairy based. I would also like to
especially thank Pepe who also was good enough to support
me through the few episodes during my cleanse which I had
never seen written about but hoped a long term cleanser
could help me through. It turned out that those healing
crises were just the thing to help me turn my *corner*
but they could easily have been the points where I tossed
in the towel. I am so glad I did not, and am grateful for
the support Pepe shared which made it possible for me to
remain confident I was doing the right thing.
Many blessings to those cleansing, or on their own
healing path.
be happy, be well,
Zoe
-_-