Driving Myself Crazy--IBS What is behind IBS? What kind of Cleansing needs to happen? 11:14 AM February 1, 07

Date:   4/9/2007 7:51:49 PM ( 17 y ago)

Driving Myself Crazy--IBS

What is behind IBS?
What kind of Cleansing needs
to happen?

11:14 AM
February 1, 07

Working hard to get my inspiration back.
Had a lot of it this morning.

Cold in my room now, a bit biting.
Bowel acting out a bit.
Hurts. Drank some psyillium
kinda late, and ate some things
off my diet. Even ate a cookie that Ang
offered me.

I was sitting around with Scott and Ang.
That was nice.

Spent two and a half days clearing my desk
and bringing the shelves in front of my face
into some Feng Shui order.

Helps me see how insane I am.

It helps straigtening things out.

I have numbers of my projects all with
beautiful art and word presentations
standing in 8 1/2 by 11 plastic frames.

It is impossible to do a good job with all these projects--
There just isn't enough time to do all these without
driving myself nuts and stresses out my bowel.

There is just too much to digest.

There is just too much to do.

Limits. I once had a book called
"The Power of Limits" It had something to do with
design. That was before Feng Shui was Westernly popular.

That's it. I have no limits.
I have no concept of this 3D world and how long it takes
to do anything.

I have little understanding, despite the wisdom
that often pops in, how long it takes for such ONE
little Seed to become a Fruit-bearing Plant.

Yes, I mean this literally as well as metaphorically.

That is why Plants are just good teachers.
They show us the Law of Nature and the Universe.
We are part of those Laws.

If we can grow like the other seeds, we have have
a chance to Thrive, but that takes a lot of gardening.

All day yesterday--even after I spent the first half finishing
my desk cleanup and ordering my Schotskas (Little things We Value),
I kept keeping this message;

"IF you don"t plant the seeds,
you don't get the harvest."

I kept filling my day up with taking phone calls,
and having big aha's that there were people out there
who were RESPONDING to the Messages I put out on Craigslist.

Boy, was that healing!!!!!

I can see where not getting calls back from Mark was
makes me feel I am out of my leaque, or at best highly ineffective.

I have had some negative ideas festering this week:
What if all the energy I have put into getting published through
the channels that have opened through Mark, were not going to happen????
And then, I was looking at, is it possible to succeed
at this Home Project and still get out of this life published?

Each thing I take on takes one million details.

Look at the Shelf in front of me!!!

Jesus, there are at least eight projects here.

Where does this come from????

Rabbi Cooper a couple weeks ago, was talking
about his pattern of going silent when his Scorpio wife
would sting him. He said he learned that from his father,
who gave that silent treatment.

Hmm...

My father...I really learned to be a poor parent from him.
I have internalized him. My projects are all my kids
and I am a lousy parent.

None of this kids is well taken care of...

"If you don't plant the seeds, you don't get the harvest."

I went out and planted yesterday afternoon.

IT was amazing.

The Revelations alone would take me ten hours to bring down to earth.

This morning I am hearing.

"If you plant too many seeds, you don't get a harvest."

Reluctant Gardener,
that's what I am, on a planet of Reluctant Gardeners.

Green Gene was a guest here at the Soilmates Sacred Circle #4.

He said, "There are only two things we can be.
Either good gardeners or bad gardener's
on a planet that is a garden."

We talk alot about cleansing here in the Curezone.

I learned a bit about that from Dr. Jensen, my spiritual father.

It is important to look behind the Physical Cleansing we attempt
to the underlying causes of why we get toxic in the first place.

My Bowel. My digestion.
Am I capable of digestion all my experience
without doing too much, without driving myself Crazy?

IBS...it is an immune system assault.

Who is leading the assault?????





At least, now I can see it is impossi



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