Love is the most powerful energy available to us, focusing on what we love puts us squarely back into our power.

Date:   5/7/2007 9:44:09 AM ( 17 y ago)

Symptoms:
skin:
face ok
neck ok
shoulder ok
chest ok
abdomen ok
upper arm ok
elbow mildly dry, less inflammation
lower arm ok
hand smooth
inner thigh ok
back thigh smooth
knee cap dry, inflamation areas showing clearly, looks improved
back of knee dry, mildly inflammed
lower leg skin renewweing (still!!!!!!!!!)
feet ventrum dry, scratched it again (OH DEAR!!!!)
ankled healed

tongue: thin white film on whole tongue
odour:
BM:
others:
overall:

sleep: 4 hrs (VERY BAD haha)

Exercise
1. morning jog w stepups

Medication
0 GNC Ultimate Cleanse
0 Multivitamin
0 Evening Primrose Oil capsules

Goals:
1. I want fantastic health, free of diseases and addictions.
2. Clear eczema
3. Fight bulimia
4. Score A for finals

My evening was absolutely insane. The patient traffic at the clinic in the morning and afternoon today was dead till right before closing when there was one sikh who came in due to constipation. She was my trial run and I must admit I underestimated the difficulty of surveying patients. There was a need to tackle lay-man lingo which has becomes increasingly fiendish for me as a medical student who is au fait with the medical lingo and then there is the need to prompt the patient to facilitate greater understanding as they are often lost. Oh I also have to maintain eye-contact most of the time so all material must be at my finger tips. Finally, multi-tasking is so vital--there is patient information from the docs, mental mathematical calculation of their age, conversion of their particulars into code language and still operate with great confidence and speed. Quite daunting. But it is my first time. I will do better tomorrow. I used Hagwood's Roman room (by colours) to aid my memory tomorrow. Let me see it I reap results.

Anyway, back to the story. The patient and the feedback from the research assistant caused me to end my session 25 min late, which meant I was seriously late and the medical library at my university may be closed. I rushed to the bus stop and stayed calm. YES! I reached 15 min before closing. OMG. I skimmed through the gastroenterology shelves. Where is that book I am searching for? Why can't I find it? Giving up, I selected a few other simple books on clinical gastroenterology. How silly when I got home, I accidentally noticed the call number of one of the books I had selected earlier was the book I was looking for. haha What a coincidence.

Anyway, this summer I am hoping to complete a review on gastroenterology, immunology, mibrobiology and neuroscience. Yeah Yeah, I must be totally out of my mind.

The most unsettling part of the evening was returning home. As nowadays I take public transport, there is a lot of walking and road traffic rather than the more tunnel-limited train. Everywhere was swarmed with people and cars. The constant buzz, shuffle of feet, booming traffic noises. I cannot explain it but the rush all around me made me feel so sick I felt like vomiting. Strange. Now I understand why I would like to get my own car soon, especially because of the quiet and the speed.

Came home and was presented with a hardcopy of an "ultimatum" from my parents. I browsed it through and chucked it aside. Funny, I do not feel a thing. They are so desperate people. I thought about the whole idea of moving out. My intuition tells me it is the right thing to do. Logically, I know finances will be hard but it is rational for me to be on my own because I cannot bear with an unnecessary stress for another 4 years; I can end my pain now. So yes, I am leaving this hell next month. Decided. Now on, I only have me. I will take care of me.

The most important thing is do I believe in myself to do what will be best for me? The answer is yes. I am striving for happiness and being alive each new day. Yes, I believe in myself. Now more than ever, I have to.

OMFG, did you read the news? Paris is sentenced to 45 days in jail. That is WAY COOL.

 

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