“Don’t ask what the world needs. Ask what makes you come alive, and go do it. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive.” Howard Thurman (American Theologian, Clergyman and Activist. 1900-1981)

Date:   5/4/2007 8:40:36 AM ( 17 y ago)

Symptoms:
skin:
face mildly dry
neck mildly dry
shoulder mildly dry
chest smooth
abdomen mildly dry
upper arm smooth
elbow mildly dry
lower arm mildly dry
hand smooth
inner thigh mildly dry
back thigh smooth
knee cap dry
back of knee dry, mild inflammed
lower leg skin renewal
feet ventrum dry, almost healed
ankled healed

tongue: thin white film on whole tongue
odour:
BM: still none
others:
overall feeling:happy that this is my first day out and this will set to continue from now on

Exercise
1. walked all over the place-- went for clinics, then hospital for a medical follow-up and back home

Medication
0 GNC Ultimate Cleanse
0 Multivitamin
0 Evening Primrose Oil capsules

Goals:
1. I want fantastic health, free of diseases and addictions.
2. Clear eczema
3. Fight bulimia
4. Score A for finals

I am tired so I shall write briefly.

Bad event: My sick bitchy mother changed her mind this morning and decided to not give me any transport allowance from the $5000 she stole from me. "Go figure out yourself." I was miffed when I stormed out of the house and while I was aware that there was a lingering strain in my heart the next hour on the train (I was running late for my first clinic session), I told myself to protect me. It was a battle between preserving a strong beautiful passionate happy well-tempered gal (by deciding to be resilient to external harm) or denigrating to a weak ugly disgruntled stressed and trapped gal (by letting my sick parents' behaviour get to me). I choose the former.

Exciting Event: Visited my Parkway Shenton Clinic today for my first summer research session. I was taught how to interview patients succinctly and complete all the administrative work beyond interviews. I need to review the steps in my head over the weekend. I will be set to work from Monday. We had a few patients today, all of whom were very helpful and sweet. It was hard for me to accept that as I was only there to conduct a clinical trial on the effectiveness on probiotics for bowel disturbances, I should not dispense advice to patients, even if it was for the good of the patients. For example there was a lady in her 30s whose condition was upper respiratory tract infection and suffered from frequent bloating, especially after meals. She is lactose intolerant and finds white bread and high-carb meals incompatible with her body, incidentally aggravating her bloating. She consumes vitagen daily which contributes to her daily bowel movement. I voluntarily advised her to take smaller meals, which are low in carb and higher in fibre, in order to reduce bloating. In addition, it would greatly help if she consumed fruits and fruit juices which aid in detox and maintenance and repair of the epithelium of the GIT and body in general. She felt citrus fruits caused problems (she has history of gastritis) and I continued to advise on papaya and carrot juices which were softer on the stomach. After she left, the research assistant strongly advised against dispensing advice as this was not my role and that my advice may contradict the doctors; I should leave all the work to the doctors. But other than that, the research assistant and the two nurses were extremely light-hearted and nice ladies. I had a chance to catch up with Dr Yap and meet Dr Chiah.

Contrary to my expectations, the clinic's professional grey-vanilla colour scheme interior took me by surprise at first. As this was a private clinic (more elegant and catering to coporate officers), it was totally different from the white drab polyclinics and the government-subsidised hospitals that cater to mainly the public. It is true that in healthcare, money is a huge advantage--it could be the difference between saving a person's life in dire circumstances to be blunt.

I am to read up about IBS, IBD, acute gastroenteritis, antiobiotics and details about the clinical trial. I also have to mentally rehearse the methodology of the trial and memorise all the antibiotic drug names (let me give it a try. 1. aroxin 2. augmentine 3. cloxacap 4. curam 5. Dhatracin 6. Dhatrin 7. Doxyline 8. Duromine 9. EES 10. Erotab 11. Inoflox 12. Klacid 13. Optichlor 14. Optodexine 15. Uroxin 16.Zinnat 17. Zithromax WALAH!!!!)

Insightful event: During my medical followup, my doctor kicked off the personal counselling session by telling me that I was not mentally sick, as confirmed by the group of 20-30 psychiatrists and psychologists. They believe I am very stressed out by m family problems. However, as he was only counselling me, he wanted to sort out more personal issues, that may hve precipitated from my difficult growing up years. He suspected that I had a few signs of borderline narcissistic personality disorder. I am not sure what it means clinically (it has to do with how I deal with stress I am not too sure) but I will do some reading. I doubt I have a disorder of any sort, just some degree of low self-esteem from my younger days and a feeling of being "trapped" when I am at home--I withdraw and get easily irritated with people I live with in this crazy family. He emphatically and sincerely expressed an urgency in sorting my inner self out so I will be stable and will not allow stress to overboil in the future, especially because I am training to be a doctor, which is needless to say a highly-demanding profession. On top of that, he commented I was very intelligent and what is most worrying is that it is not healthy for a highly-intelligent individual to be coupled with an unstable personality. He expects me to spend 2 years in therapy with him.

OK. That was SOOOO not brief. haha. well, good night. lots of love.

 

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