Each of us has been put on earth with the ability to do something well. We cheat ourselves and the world if we don't use that ability as best we can.” George Allen (American football Coach. Noted for his hard-driving work ethic. 1922-1990)

Date:   5/2/2007 7:58:27 PM ( 17 y ago)

Symptoms:
skin:
face smooth
neck mildly dry
shoulder mildly dry
chest smooth
abdomen smooth
upper arm smooth
elbow mildly dry
lower arm smooth
hand smooth, dull
inner thigh mildly dry, slightly inflammed
back thigh smooth
knee cap dry, moderately inflammed
back of knee dry, mild inflammed
lower leg skin renewal
feet ventrum dry, almost healed
ankle dry, almost healed

tongue: thin white film on whole tongue
odour:don't smell so good
BM:
others:
overall feeling:tired

Exercise
1. morning stroll

Medication
0 GNC Ultimate Cleanse
0 Multivitamin
0 Evening Primrose Oil capsules

Goals:
1. I want fantastic health, free of diseases and addictions.
2. Clear eczema
3. Fight bulimia
4. Score A for finals

I am writing this early in the day today. I was mentally reviewing the unpleasant exchange during the family counselling centre the previous day and my mind began to swirl on the peculiar transaction that occurred at the end of April.

I did not blog this but at the end of April, my mother claimed that she was having menorrhea (a sign of menopause) and dragged me to the bank, without warning. On the spot, she told me for her to make sure that she could transfer money to me in the future she demanded that I acquiesced her in opening a joint account. She further added that she would open one with my brother. She convinced me to close my previous bank account from a different affliated branch and withdraw and deposit the money--all the money (>$6000). What was fishy was she told me she did not tell me before hand because she did not want my father to know about this clandestine account. I believed her and did what she requested. Closed the previous account from the affiliated bank (I have my separate account) and signed a joint account. What was most peculiar was that she never gave me a copy of the account applications or the account number. My intuition did not like this from the start.

Indeed, I scrutinized and analyzed the situation this morning and it dawned on me I had been fooled by a very contrived ploy. The culprit is my own biological mother. The story is most probably fabricated. Here is the reason why. In my default account, there was about $6000. However, in the joint account that I was not provided any information on has only the minimum amount of $1000. So where did the 5 grand disappear to? There is only one person. The bitch. A liar. A cheat. A swindler. Very clever. I am not needy of the money but my stomach contorted into knots when I realized the truth; it was a pathetic, ridiculous, desperate and dumb joke. By the way, there has been no joint account with my brother. It was purely a hoax. The best part of all is that she feigns a pretty mien in church in order to demonstate some obviously very hypocritical piety. She should pray harder as wouldn't it be the biggest irony if one day her autopsy states she died because of malignant fibroids or polycystic ovary disease?

However mean I may sound, I just feel sick. Yup, born to these parents is my greatest misfortune. Having a strong spirit and intelligent mind of my own are the compensating assets. How odd life plays out. Nope, I am going to discontinue any further family counselling as obviously the fraud and hacking (my father gave me clues yesterday he has hacked into my msn chat) are telling of people who are incorrigible and of low values. Nope, I am definitely not going to tag along like a dumb dog to church with my two very despicable parents. Nope, I am absolutely not joining her at her pre-paid church-camp in June; I would hang myself first before getting even a metre away from her. Yup, I am moving out of the house in the next few months, especially once I complete my fast.

There are 2 questions I ask whenever I make a decision.
1. Will x make you happy?
2. Will you regret x if you did it?
Yes I would be indescribably ecstatic to escape from my home. When I was in the hospital for 10 days in March to sought safety from this hell-hole, while it was not heaven, it was to me akin to sanctuary just because it was anywhere but this house. I do not think I will regret moving out and being independent. It will be hard to learn to manage my finances but I believe if I want to be a dean's lister next year with an excellent academic and research record and have a blissful relationship with the people who truly care and love me for the way I am, then I have to first and foremost extricate myself from the very place which is radiating a bad aura and contributing to possible stress and unnecessary drama. I want to move out for good.

Just some notes

1. I will be starting my summer research at the clinics from tomorrow. I will journal the experience as I continue my fasting blog. I will include entries on Irritable bowel Syndrome, Probiotics and Antibiotics' effects on the bowel
Feeling: Glad--anything that keeps me away from the house is good and keeping busy helps to distract me from any cravings while I can focus on patients and my reading materials
2. There is nothing more uplifting than reading fasting testimonials and seeing how discipline culminates in success and health.http://www.tanglewoodwellnesscenter.com/testimonials/


 

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