“It is easy in the world to live after the world's opinions; it is easy in solitude to live after your own; but the great man is he who in the midst of the crowd keeps with perfect sweetness the independence of solitude” Ralph Waldo Emerson quotes (American Poet, Lecturer and Essayist, 1803-1882

Date:   4/25/2007 8:31:52 AM ( 17 y ago)

Symptoms:
skin:
face mildly dry
neck mildly dry
shoulder mildly dry
chest smooth
abdomen smooth
upper arm mildly dry
elbow mildly dry
lower arm mildly dry, dull
hand wrinkly on the right hand
inner thigh mildly dry, slightly inflammed
knee cap dry, moderately inflammed
back of knee smooth, mild inflammed
lower leg stubborn old skin
feet ventrum parched patch healing
ankle slight bruising, healing

tongue:white film covering whole tongue
odour:none
BM:once
others:
overall feeling: tired

Exercise
1. morning stroll
2. went out

Medication
0 GNC Ultimate Cleanse
2 Multivitamin
0 Evening Primrose Oil capsules

Goals:
1. I want fantastic health, free of diseases and addictions.
2. Clear eczema
3. Fight bulimia
4. Score A for finals


I had 2 appointments today. First was a visit to the mental institute for a followup evaluation and the second was a piano audition to Cristofori music school.

The followup session was nothing exciting, except that it took place in a huge seminar room with about 20 doctors evaluating me while a 3 doctors took turns to ask me about my progress and things at home. I am pretty sure they will see no point in further prescibing medicine (which I already do not take knowing I am perfectly sound) but may advice on family counselling and personal counselling, if I wanted.

In the afternoon, I took public transport to town for piano audition and interview at Cristofori, Funan branch. I realized I was rusty with my scales but managed to complete the whole auditions as best as I could. Hopefully, I get the place. The results will come next week or so.

I was exhausted by the time I finished the 3 hr affair and as I stolled down the street and boarded the train home, I was inundated by the peak hour crowds(looks like I should get out more often as I discovered there was a new interesting increase in the number of caucasians). The constant swarm of scurrying people everywhere left me feeling swallowed up, a little light-headed actually. There was an uncanny feeling of being lost in the crowds, as if I was just another insignificant figure among the masses. I realized I had slowly begun to forget how to move through life with a sense of direction. It is a cinch to go through each day as if it was another yesterday and let life just zoom past you, but if you find meaningful things (other than your job) to invest in, there is a grounded sense of who you are and where you are headed next--you do not feel constipated and stumped about what comes next. Apropos to investing time in worthy subjects, it hit me that no matter how many schools you attend or degrees you earn, at the end of the day, you hardly know anything that can put you in the same ranks as genuises. Hence, it is almost a human need to keep on visiting the mental gym where we pump iron and pick up new knowledge and skills. The ultimate goal is not so much to show off, but really just a need to satisfy our ego--at least my ego.

I wore a pink V-shape spaghetti top today with black panks and a white cardigan over. It was not that I did not look good, but I did not feel good having to cover up my limbs because of it was not time to reveal my skin yet. It needs more time. Sometimes, dealing with my eczema irks me but I know deep down, fasting has to be done. Healing comes first. Health comes first.

 

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