...and feeling like a hypocrite!

Date:   11/18/2006 3:11:08 PM ( 18 y ago)

I can't help it. During my one day Master Cleanse I read and re-read all the information I could to stay motivated throughout the day. It felt so good to feel so light and I slept so well. So if you've wondering where I've been I've been cleansing the past 2 days and didn't bother writing about it unless I was sure I was in it for the long haul.

Since most people who post on the message boards have nothing to sell, I can only assume that the positive experiences they're writing about are true. I've also intentionally sought out negative messages as well so I know what I'm getting myself into.

So far my experience has been good, but it's only been two days. I've replaced my coffees with tea and will slowly cut the tea down as well. I can't go cold-turkey on coffee, the headaches are too much for me to handle and leave me incapacitated. And I'm not sure about doing the salt-water flush every morning, but I'll try. It's not that I don't like the SWF, I rather enjoy it - but I'm frightened that it's not the healthiest thing to do to one's intestines. I'm curious at the 'violence' of my BM's when I do it. Other people throw it up before having a chance to eliminate it. Could it be that all that salt and water at once is bad for the body, and that the body tries to get rid of it as soon as possible?

And the Senna tea gives me instant nausea. But I'll continue to drink it until next week. If it keeps on making me feel that way, it's getting cut out as well and I'll just have to rely on my own natural process of elimination.

So, how long am I going to do this? Good question. I don't know. And why am I doing it? Well the obvious answers: weight loss, mental clarity & wellbeing apply, but I have other, deeper reasons as well.

Two years ago I moved to another country to start a new life. I also embarked on a new career path as well. All these changes were brought about by past mistakes and the desire for renewal. Well part of my renewal feels hampered by all this excess baggage I'm carrying around. I want to get rid of everything that is physically weighing me down. All this fat I have reminds me of those depressing binges I used to do to comfort myself. The tiredness around my eyes remind me of nights where I would binge-drink. When I look in the mirror I don't see the happiest person. I want to change all that.

So I'm going to do this - could be for 10 days, 20 days.. who knows. If I start feeling very weak and sick, as if something is really wrong I'll stop. But I'm going to take this as far as it's going to go.



 

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