I'm afraid to tell all unfortunately

Date:   10/10/2006 2:38:19 AM ( 18 y ago)

I'd like to write details of what's happening in my life and all the profound ways everything is unfolding at a very rapid pace, yet I'm afraid that I'll ruin my anonymity if I get too specific. Which is rather unfortunate as I don't really have anyone I feel like I can be really and completely honest with about Everything. I had the idea that this could be the place to do it, but the world is small and I have a funny feeling that if I get into the nitty gritty, someone will figure it out. However, it bores me a bit to write here in such a vague way. At least I got that little rant out of my system.

I've been hearing a lot about how humans are addicted to our suffering and that God does NOT want us to suffer, that the pain isn't from God but from resisting God. I've been surrendering and releasing a lot of my pain to God and am feeling a bit more steady and solid on my feet, a bit less apologetic for my existance. It has historically been So hard for me to trust that I'm being cared for, but history is history, and I want nothing but to know God. I say that, I hope I mean it and continue to. I've known for some time that our inner and outer worlds mirror each other yet to experience it so blatantly and consistently can get a bit baffling. I guess that's just in my brain though which will keep working if I let that thought go with all the others. I am grateful for this day.

 

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