Day 5 by Macy.Marie .....

I almost threw in the towel today!

Date:   7/10/2006 11:20:58 AM ( 17 y ago)

I felt better than I had since starting the fast- I felt more normal. I slept well and woke up to the dogs banging in their crates. They've learned to be early risers since I get up at 5:15 with them during the week when I have to get ready for work. They don't sleep in much past 7am anymore, which is great really, because no matter how begrudgingly I get out of bed I'm always glad to have the morning hours for myself.

Had the morning laxitive tea; I enjoy the taste of it. I picked up a new box of senna tea from Bulk Barn and this kind is much more fragrant and strong. I'm glad I like it. I wasn't as weak as I had been so after I got up I decided to run some errands. My mind was clear but my reactions seemed a second or two behind, and I really noticed this as I was driving. Hmm.

I ran errands until about 2; I was on my way to another destination when I knew I had to go home... and once again I stuck by the bathroom for the next two hours until I felt like I was ok. It happened again around 7pm as well- and wow, it's getting pretty pungent to say the least. It's quite gross and is difficult for me to tolerate. I'm not easily repulsed but these times are very trying.

I was doing alright until around 7 or 8 that night; I really wanted to give in. I wasn't hungry but I wanted food. I've been craving carrot sticks for some reason- and I'm glad it's that rather than chocolate, but I was *thisclose* to giving up. I kept hoping C would call and say she gave in and it was ok for me to as well, but it never happened. I kept looking at the red grapes in the fridge when I went for the syrup each time and would have loved to pop a few in my mouth like I usually would, and sadly they probably won't be much good by the time I can eat them. I don't know why I stuck it out, and I'm not sure I'm glad I did either. I finally steeped some tea around 10pm and went to bed... but that was a close one. I had serious doubts that I'll be able to finish the 10 days- I'm only half way there!

I slept well until 3am- I woke up to pee. I had a hard time falling back asleep which is unusual for me, but last time I looked at the clock it was almost 4. It was storming out which was nice to have in the background to my tossing and turning though. ;)

I find I'm able to really ramp up the amount of cayenne I'm using too. I'm probably up around a full 1/8 teaspoon now if not more and that's quite an accomplishment for me since I don't like spicey foods. Almost everytime I use it, it makes me sneeze. :)


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