Trial and Tribulation, tribulation succeeded!

Date:   6/8/2006 1:07:21 AM ( 18 y ago)

Everything went great today. I had the master cleanse again all day long. No vegetable juice because I wanted to hurry along on this detox/juice fast. This is the second day I drank no vegetable juice and it is hard but not if you have any kind of discipline. You just learn to drink water when you are a little bit hungry and do the lemon thing when you are lots hungry. I love the Tabasco in my drink. That stuff is the best on earth! I use it for the cayenne pepper, but sometimes I use cayenne pepper also with my mix. I make it so hot its probably going to burn my insides up? Can it do that? Ok, next paragraph is something I wish I could conquer.

I drank a six pack tonight. After all that hard work all day, I did it. I fell back in my category where I feel completely in charge, wanted, bulletproof… until the next day. I thought this wouldn’t happen. 3 times while walking to the check out line at wal-mart I looked for a place I could set the beer that I picked up that I got moments earlier. My girlfriend reads me like a light bulb. She knows that I go to the store for beer…. I always tell her its for lights off… “no beer tonight, I’m going for - ANY EXCUSE” –food is good at wal-mart isn’t it? I always end up with beer. This f*ing disease is killing me!

I mean so much intention on living a healthy lifestyle. Why is alcohol going to do this to me? I started at age 15 and when I puked the Mad Dog 20/20 up and went for it the next weekend. That was it. 16 years later… here I am. Struggling with it but I am conscious of my body and on a fast. If anything I may get something from the fast. I don’t know if this disease will ever leave me the hell alone so that I can live a normal life?


 

Popularity:   message viewed 3473 times
URL:   http://www.curezone.org/blogs/fm.asp?i=982401

<< Return to the standard message view