Who's minding the Tolet Paper

Date:   12/6/2006 4:36:31 PM ( 18 y ago)

Have you ever taken a roll of toilet paper or as they say in some parts of New Yawk, Terlet paper? I would have thought this was a crazy question until recently when I went to use a bathroom at an art opening. The first time I went into the bathroom, there were 4 rolls of terlet, err I mean toilet paper and then I went back in about ten minutes later (too much punch) and there was not “A square to spare”.

What could have happened to involve that much toilet paper use in such a short time? Are aliens to possible take back to their native Planet hoarding toilet paper? Are some people just using elephant size amounts of terlet , err toilet paper?

Toilet paper, like running water and available bathrooms is something that us Americans take for granted. We all expect the bathroom we use to be filled with toilet paper. We all saw what happen when Hurricane Katrina hit and I experienced spending days on the side of the highway while being forced to evacuate Houston
Days before the arrival of Hurricane Rita.

With a little over 6 billion humans living on earth, that calls for the daily production of 83,048,116 rolls per day with no days off and no vacations, 30.6 billion rolls per year and 2.7 rolls per second. Strangely enough, that’s 80% greater than our daily consumption or use of salt, 63% greater than our average use of milk,.Yet, still we often remain oblivious to toilet paper.


A little bit about the history of toilet paper is below *




The availability of toilet paper, certainly something that us Americans expect when we use the facilities. Certainly a more important issue than most pursued by the ACLU. C’mon really, If we surveyed Americans and asked what is more important to you. The availability of toilet paper when you are using the facilities or the lawsuits filed by the ACLU. One would most likely say, the “toilet paper”.
As a matter of fact. The ACLU briefs are not to far a relative of toilet paper.

There are many types of toilet paper sold at novelty stores. My favorite was the
Toilet paper that had a college degree on it. Another popular toilet paper was that of Bill & Hillary Clinton. I guess toilet paper with politicians on it would make most sense. Since many politicians are full of you know what. I guess we would also have to include many of the Hollywood elite who one cannot really know for sure if they are acting or they really believe the &*^% they are throwing.

Some suggestions for the use of toilet paper would include Campaign Slogans
Hey, more people would probably see the candidates face in the can than on TV. Who really watches those TV commercials. Watching a political ad is about as exciting as having dinner with the person who is featured in the political ad.

SO who’s minding the toilet paper? How can rolls mysteriously disappear from bathrooms? Recently I was in a Starbucks in Austin, Texas. The star bucks had been built on the former location of “Les Aimee”. A former hippie type café that had stood on this particular corner in the 1980’s. Hey, I can’t knock Starbucks; they have a decent product, pay their employees well, and even give them benefits.
But I am a Seattle’s Best person myself. Today, while writing this I am a “stay at home coffee drinker” drinking “Fair Trade” Coffee from Central America purchased at my local co-op where I am a member.

This particular Starbucks gets really crowded. So I was waiting for my turn to use this restroom that was shared by male/female customers. I had a slight cold and did not bring tissues and did not want to use napkins so I waited for my turn to use the facilities to snag some toilet tissue. So I briefly enter the Starbucks bathroom and am surprised to see a mountain of unwrapped rolls of toilet paper in the bathroom.
Ten rolls of unwrapped rolls and two unwrapped rolls. Enough toilet paper to last the good part of a Starbucks day or too handle the needs of a small Super bowl party. I square to spare off the roll. To me, the paper seems to flow more freely when the roll is put it the receptacle with the paper facing down.

Later on after a full 16-ounce cup of coffee, I made my way back to the restroom and waited. There was not a line. But, the bathroom door was locked. When the
Longhorn student was leaving the bathroom. He seemed to be stuffing something into his book bag/backpack. It was rolls of toilet paper. He smiled and said, “hey toilet paper is expensive and I spend a lot of money here”. My hypothesis seemed to be correct. People do steal toilet paper from the facilities and take it home with them. I remembered once asking my NYC Roommate to pick up some toilet paper when she headed home after work. I handed her a couple of bucks. She told me not to worry; she would get it from work. I guess I assumed they gave her the rolls, and maybe they did. Who knows?

Why would someone take toilet paper? Is there a shortage? I don’t think so
Does everyone sue toilet paper? I thought so, but to my surprise. I was told by a junk food junkie friend who poses as a raw food eater that she was moving into a place in the country and she would not be able to use toilet paper. Her bathroom facilities were an “outhouse”. The paper she would use would be old newspaper
(I would recommend the NY Times/Washington Post) I did not get it, why old newspaper? Why not toilet paper and discard it in a bag? Her moving to a place with an outhouse would have surprised me. But recently I heard a radio show that actually featured companies that still build outhouses. Why are people building outhouses in the 21st century?

A bigger question is: Why would people steal toilet paper? Is toilet paper expensive?
I personally buy the 1000 sheet rolls when they go on sale at Walgreen’s. They are on sale for anywhere from 39cents to 50 cents a roll. Hardly an expensive price to pay for toilet paper. There are rolls of toilet paper that can cost a buck, even more at some convenience stores. The bill & Hillary Clinton roll of toilet paper was $11.99 in NYC. Some toilet paper is so squeezable soft that attendants are required to tell people not to squeeze the Charmin. Others are used by angels, other rolls now have aloe very oil in them, toilet paper can be quilted, Imagine a giant toilet paper quilt decorating your bedroom. Some discount rolls may still have woodchips embedded in the rolls (only kidding). Paper is one ply; some toilet paper is two-ply,
Is 3 ply far behind. It seems like everything else. Even what toilet paper you have in your bathroom is a status symbol. Toilet paper thieves are on the prowl? Are these toilet paper thieves happy with whatever toilet paper they swipe? Will backpacks and other oversize bags be banned from bathrooms as this problem becomes prevalent? Will there be a need for a Department of Bathroom Security?
Scanners placed outside of bathroom doors with toilet paper sensors? Maybe toilet paper theft is just an acceptable form of exchange? With the price of toilet paper on the rise and so many companies producing designer toilet paper. Will bootleg toilet paper sales be popping up all over the USA? I have seen rolls of toilet paper for sale on E-Bay. Has the toilet paper thief become sophisticated and is only going after the good sh_t ? Either way, I will be here to follow this story as it develops.



*







A glimpse into the evolution of one of mankind's greatest necessities


Ancient Rome


All public toilets had a stick with a sponge attached to its end that soaked in a bucket of brine so citizens could have a tool to freshen up with.









China, around 1391 AD
The Bureau of Imperial Supplies began producing 720,000 sheets of toilet paper per year. Each sheet measured two feet by three feet!








Viking Age
During this time, people would freshen up with discarded sheep's wool.








Late Middle Ages
The French invented the bidet for proper cleansing.








1700s
Colonial Americans used corncobs to cleanse with. However, once newspapers became commonplace, people used the newspaper after they had finished reading it.








1880
The first actual paper produced for freshening up with was in England. The individual squares were sold in boxes, not rolls.








1902
Northern Paper Mills introduces Northern Tissue, made at the Green Bay East Mill in Wisconsin.








1920s
Northern Mills introduced toilet tissue on a roll.








1973
The Great Toilet Paper Shortage occurred in 1973 after evening talk show host Johnny Carson made a joke that there was an acute shortage of toilet paper in the United States. The next morning, 20 million viewers bought up all the toilet paper they could find. By noon that day, most stores were out of toilet paper.








2002
Quilted Northern® celebrates its 100th birthday!

















 

Popularity:   message viewed 1975 times
URL:   http://www.curezone.org/blogs/fm.asp?i=981480

<< Return to the standard message view