SO you wanna date me?

Date:   6/28/2006 10:46:02 AM ( 18 y ago)

APPLICATION TO BE MY DATE

Before You Begin

I am a 40ish, employed, single woman living in Austin, and I'd like to date. If a woman who would write the below appeals to you, please feel free to apply for this position.

I've customized 20 questions drawn from a wide range of disciplines. The application process should take about 15–20 minutes to complete, but allow extra time, just in case.

There are no right answers, so the best approach is to just be honest. Every person who submits an application will receive an e-mail response. Creating your own answer is always an option. Please don't send me a list that reads "A, B, A, C." For the love of everything holy, please be creative. Kthanx.

If you are still interested in the position at this point, then follow the instructions in the e-mail to schedule a brief phone or in-person interview.

1. Before we begin, are there any problem areas you want me to know about?

2. An "active day" can best be described as one in which you:
A. Work out at the gym.
B. Hike and/or bike.
C. Lose the remote control.

3. TRUE or FALSE: The man is trying to keep you down.

4. Choose one:
A. Magnolia Grill
B. Hut's Hamburgers
C. Houston's
D. Golden Corral

5. You just won $5 million. What do you do with it?

6. Which comes next in the series? 1 2 3 4 _____
A. 8
B. 5
C. Potato
D. Tests are the establishment's way of controlling us.

7. TRUE or FALSE: Your ex(es) is/are an evil bitch from the dark corners of Hades.

8. List three words that describe your most important values in life.

9. Explain how you best feel about children:
A. Mine are < 18 and I have full/partial custody.
B. Mine are grown and out of the house.
C. I'm childless.
D. I plan on having kids… remind me to take some out to thaw.

10. It's Saturday night and your plans fell through. What's Option B?
A. Stay home, watch some tube. Maybe 24 is on.
B. Catch a movie on your own. Alamo will serve you whether you have a date or not.
C. Get in an extra work-out at the gym this week.
D. What? No one cancels on me!

11. Regarding smoking:
A. I smoke.
B. I don't smoke but don't mind if you do.
C. I don't smoke and try to evangelize those that do.
D. I am the Marlboro Man.

12. NPR is to radio as __________ is to __________.
A. Starbucks is to coffee.
B. Milli Vanilli is to musicianship.
C. Grey Goose is to vodka.

13. Regarding God and/or higher powers:
A. Father, Son, Holy Spirit, blessed Trinity.
B. There's something out there bigger than me.
C. Ain't no such thing.
D. I'm okay with not knowing.
E. Ritual sacrifice, anyone?

14. List one drama and one comedy from your all-time favorite cinematic list.

15. Name a stereotype that could apply to you.

16. Your definition of "Afternoon Delight" is:
A. A day trip to Fredericksburg and Enchanted Rock.
B. Sneaking over to the Warehouse to watch the Cubs play an early game.
C. A bowl of yogurt and a nap.

17. A penny saved is a penny __________.
A. Earned.
B. Taking up space.
C. An object to hurl.
D. Probably germ-infested, go wash your hands.

18. When you wake up in the morning, what's usually your first thought?

19. TRUE or FALSE: You almost always like to have some type of noise (radio, TV, fan) on in the background.

20. Your favorite TV shows are:
A. Comedy.
B. Drama.
C. Reality/competitions.
D. A mixture.
E. TV? What's a TV?

21. How do you make your money?
A. I work hard at an honest job.
B. I work minimally at an adequate job, but it pays the bills
C. Trust fund baby.
D. I'm, uh, between jobs.
E. In the basement with a laser printer.

BONUS QUESTION: My current living situation is:
A. Alone (if you don't count my mind-controlling cat).
B. With my children sometimes/all the time.
C. I swear that woman is a ROOMIE! Platonic ROOMIE!
D. With my parents. I'm, uh, helping take care of them!

DOUBLE SPECIAL BONUS QUESTION: What would your last ex say about you?
A. How did I let such a catch get away??
B. He was a fine person but we grew our separate ways.
C. The restraining order is still in effect.
D. He owes me money.

Personal Information (* indicates required field):

Names and contact information will be used strictly for correspondence related to your application and will never be sold or shared with anyone. Ever. Promise.After receiving your application, I will respond with an e-mail expressing fascination, mild interest or complete but polite dismay. If I do not hear from you at this stage, I will assume you are no longer interested in the position of date, and your contact information will be deleted. Applications that include pictures will receive faster consideration.

* First Name
Last Name
* Marital Status (really, no fudging)
* Age

___ I verify that I am at least 28 years of age, not currently married or with a girlfriend, and reserve the right to withdraw my application at any time.


 

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