Beginning the Fast

Date:   4/8/2006 8:21:43 PM ( 18 y ago)

Ok. I'm not sure if anyone will read this, but I know that I need to write it. ABout 6 years ago, I did a 5 day fast, which consisted mainly of water, with some watered down juice added sparingly. I did it because I had begun to feel that every word that came out of my mouth was negative, and I needed something to reset my attitude, and redraw my relationship with the world.

This time, I've decided to try to do a 7 day fast, but for different reasons. First, I quit smoking about 6 weeks ago, finally. As a result of that, I unfortunately gained about 10 pounds, which is a lot for me. I think I just let myself eat whatever I wanted to compensate for depriving myself of nicotine. Beyond eating like crap, I've also got a lot of external stress going on, and I know that I need another reset. I figure that the fast will make me pay more attention to how I see food, and how my social relationships are arranged. It will also help me stop with the empty calories. I've gotten into the habit of randomly binging on crap, then feeling horrible about myself and working out like a crazy person for two days. This is not a healthy lifestyle. I've tried to start the fast twice this week, but near the end of each day, I had to eat due to weakness. My work was more important than the fast, or so I thought.

So. Given all of that...

Day 0-
I had planned to ease into the fast by just eating a green bar and having a big jamba juice the day before, but my roomate had a dinner party, so I got sucked into having ziti (and then, since I'd already fallen off the wagon, went for ice cream. Brilliant)

Day 1-
I started the day at the gym, with no problems. Usually before I work out I eat a banana, and then after the gym I eat a protein rich breakfast (most likely scrambled eggs). By the time I left for work, my body had begun to get pissy about the change in diet. The rest of the day wasn't too bad though, since I was at work and distracted. I compensated for the lack of food by drinking massive amounts of water. That night I skipped happy hour, and then stayed home rather than going out with my friends. I knew I couldn't drink, and I didn't want to deal with peer pressure so early on. It sucks, not being able to see my friends. This is sort of a lonely fast.

Day 2
Today is the second day of my fast. It's been about 46 hours since I had any solid food. I went to a review session for 4 hours. On the way, we stopped at my favorite bagel place. I got hot water and had some green tea. Good exercise of will-power, but it was really hard. I promised myself a bagel next week. Hopefully though, the fast will reduce my cravings for stuff like that.

I don't know how I quit smoking cold turkey after lighting up for 10 years. I feel about a step away from quitting the fast. So. We begin journaling. Hopefully by putting this out into a public forum, I'll be guilted into making it through. Once I get past day three, I know it will get easier, but dude. This sucks.

 

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