my divine wake up call

Date:   5/31/2006 8:55:21 PM ( 18 y ago)

I witnessed a man almost die today. I think he was dead and the cops didn't want to bag him in front of all of us who were watching. A man had a heart attack behind the wheel and went smashing through my neighbor's front yard. This is the one day I'm glad I procrastinated in taking Sophie for a walk. I would have never seen him coming from behind if I started out fifteen seconds earlier. My mom said it's not my time yet. Obviously NOT.

Earlier I was tired because I went for my last dress fitting. My wedding dress fit perfectly. It was like a huge weight lifted off my shoulders. Last week I was under a tremendous amount of stress. I began to drink a quart amount of coffee a day. Today I had a half a cup of regular coffee before I got home and had my death experience. I was so tired from not drinking coffee all day and here it comes. The experience of watching someone have this tragedy drained my energy.

I'm taking this as a wake up call from God. I should be enjoying this time, not stressing myself out and abusing my body. Why am I putting this in my raw food blog? Because of how I've been abusing my body with food in a mistaken notion that it will HELP me cope. What a joke. I was dog tired today from NOT having a quart of coffee so how is drinking a quart of coffee helping me? How is eating pork helping me? How is eating everything in sight for the past few days helping me? Is this how I want to solve all my problems?

Just seeing death before my eyes and becoming acutely aware of how fleeting life is has made me think. I'm thinking that I need to enjoy this time. If I don't worry about stress and food, it will come naturally.

 

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