To Weigh or not to weigh – that is the question!

Date:   1/31/2006 9:47:15 PM ( 18 y ago)

Blog 2 – 1st Feb

To Weight or not to weigh – that is the question!
Weighing myself has been a despairing occupation throughout my entire life. I nearly broke the wash basin once in my futile attempt to lower myself more gracefully onto the scales in order to weight less (I also once went to give blood before a slimming club meeting). (Didn’t work). So frequently when I owned my health club people would say “I am now 47 and I want to weigh what I did when I was 21”. They were so adamant regarding this that nothing else would do. It is possible that they will never be able to weigh the same, and especially if you develop muscles in a fitness regime you may even weigh more, but so often these people would despair because they “did not weight the same” as when they were 21 or when they got married or whatever. This is a thought tape that needs to be removed.

I felt the same, it was as though I was OK if I weighed 139lbs, if I was anything over that then I was fat and hopeless, a failure! Even though I am tall and big boned. And if you feel a failure at slimming, this reverberates throughout your entire life. It becomes an endless cycle - you feel a failure and you eat and feel and failure on and on it goes. This is of course ridiculous because as normal functioning human beings our weight fluctuates. Oh my goodness how often I cried when at a slimming club. I had eaten “right” all week and on weighing at the commencement of the class I had gained pounds, I saw it, not as it was, that due to water retention or just a fluctuation in fluid, but a failure, at times I felt I was cursed – literally, some horrible person had inflicted some horrible curse on me. And of course all it was water retention which is a natural state of fluctuation for women.

However my life was seemingly ruled by my weight, if I had lost weight I was “good”, if I had put on I was “bad” and a failure. (I was also using destructive languaging – more on this in future bloggs). Looking back on this I realise what a despairing syndrome I was in. Much better if I had thought along the lines of “I am a wonderful person, whatever my weight”, and realised that to live your life ruled by what the scales say is ludicrous and doomed to failure. It was using “outside authority” to judge if I was OK or not, and that is never supportive. When you begin to regain your healthy lean body you start to develop your own awareness and own authority of what is right for you. Recognising that inner authority is paramount and why I believe that the awareness that comes from my yoga programme for slimmers is so vital.

Eating healthily NEVER goes amiss. And of course I was very herd like in my thinking, my weight was right or wrong according to what the slimming club said which was set by a generalised chart. What other people thought was better than me. I think this is crazy now, as I believe we have such wisdom within us and that we can tap into that wisdom and use it to help us be fit and slim, positive in our outlook and connected to our spirits.

There is a saying “scales is for fishes”, knowing how much sadness I experienced and seen in other people, I would agree with this. The weighing scales can bring more despair than help.

Nowadays, I go by how I feel, how my clothes fit, how energised I am in life, and by whether I can feel my hip bones. Do I wake up in the mornings happy and looking forward to the day ahead, do I go to sleep at night grateful for my life. I feel better like this and my life is not ruled by a mechanical weighing machine, nor never will be again.




 

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