The Love you Want

Date:   10/3/2005 12:55:57 PM ( 19 y ago)

I started out as a Hershey bar in my dad's back pocket, like all of us. It became a stream of semen flowing to my mother's uterus, and in THAT time and in that situation of 1950's middle America in a rural area of the great windswept plains, I started on my path of life.

Did it have some form? a pre-destined path? - perhaps with ambitions of doing something to affect the world? The geo-magnetic energy, the position of planets and the sun and moon, the chemicals around us would all be part of the product - me - and they all are part of the destiny that would be "my life". Destiny often means that there is a goal attached as part of it all, like becoming the President, but I don't agree - it is simply the character of the person that is destined, and all the rest comes from that.

My path's direction, the way I like to see it, is that there is no doubt that my life would affect the world because I am in it, part of the machinery. And my character, the personality, was only partly formed that day. The outside world would do the rest of the 'personality' job...which is still in progree 50 years later.

Some lives have an effect beyond an individual's own life, like great leaders. Other lives only affect the people around them, and so if I have to give up visions of grandeur and accept that my influence only extends into a few people around me, well that is important too. I must realise that others are affecting ME too, and what they do means something to my life, so what I do has to be responsible too. The influence I DO have is important. It all adds up to create our world, each small thing. Make them ALL good things, and the world has a chance to improve. Thats all I ask of others...

Kharma. The affect I have on the world , coming around to greet me. We are what we create, and even though at times it seems insignificant, each act can be done with love and they all add up to be a world of love.

Each non-loving act is creating a bleaker world. Every time you get angry, or act greedy, or do something mean-spirited, we create a bleaker world.

So my whole path seems to have become judgemental. I view each act or each person I see with the judgement of "is it love"? . This is not good, it can lead to complete withdrawal.
"There is no act of love to see here folks, move along"

"No Act of Love to see Today" is a sad state. We all seek out acts of love. We do things to try and make them appear. We buy things and do drugs that help distract ourselves from the feeling of once again not finding an act of love all day.

If hate comes around, we get real interested in that too, because we want to witness the apocalypse and here is a preview. But love is what we WANT.

When you can't get the love you want.... we do other things to make up for it. They are not allways healthy , not usually good choices, and often end up hurting others.

"When you cant get the love you want" is the story of my life, because I didn't get the love I wanted, and my path in life followed the "When you can't get the love you want" reaction to not getting what I wanted, which was love.

Thats the intro,and kinda boring stuff at times as I lay out the groundwork to explaining 'how and what and who I am' in this Blogosphere, but it will get better
- much more to come, soon enough...

Chapter One : "Garden of My Youth"





 

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