Don't get me wrong, having to warn people about my herpes and anticipate their reactions is not my idea of a good-time, but It's small price to pay, in my mind, for having a the right to date outside of the herpes community.

Date:   4/17/2006 9:20:38 PM ( 18 y ago)

Resisting the Urge to Only Date Others with Herpes.

My girlfriend and I broke-up (amiably) three weeks ago today.

It was unexpected since we were getting along very well and still love each other very much. But we didn't agree on how the relationship should be in the future so we decided it was better to stop now than face a certain break-up down the line.

So I am suddenly single and am in an awkward position.

I hear that voice at the back of my head saying, "Christopher" wouldn't it be so much easier to just look for women with herpes to date?"

The voice is right of course, yes it would be easier.

I am resisting that voice, as I have always resisted that voice.

I believe that I still have the right to love whoever I want to love regardless of the fact that i have herpes. I believe I would be ghettoizing myself and taking the easier way out just by looking for women with herpes. I would be buying into the mean-spirited stigma that says I should be marginalized, I should be banned from loving the uninfected.

I know i have my responsibilities. I live the life of a responsible person with herpes. I have treated my herpes with herbal medicine so I have only had one outbreak in the past four years. I warn my potential partners about my herpes status as early into the courtship as possible- usually before the first date. I practice safer sexuality and use an anti-viral gel to limit the risk of infecting others.

I feel that i have the right to go out into the world and not have the virus control my social life.

Don't get me wrong, having to warn people about my herpes and anticipate their reactions is not my idea of a good-time, but It's small price to pay, in my mind, for having a the right to date outside of the herpes community.

I will also be open to dating those with herpes of course, but it won't be a preference one way or the other, just like I have no preference for race or hair colour or eye colour.

My heart and mind are completely open to whoever spirit brings into my life next.

christopher scipio
homeopath/herbalist
holistic viral specialist

you can buy my herpes book at
http://www.herpesbook.com

 

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