Master Cleanser Update by 100th monkey .....

To fast or not to fast, that is the ?

Date:   9/21/2005 2:11:05 AM ( 18 y ago)

Well, I've made it to day 11 of MC3, and I'm feeling good. My headaches have ceased and I've got plenty of energy, but I can tell that my mind is not quite operating at 100%.

Don't get me wrong, I am very peaceful, I am extremely calm, but it's also like a layer has developed between my friends and I. Last night my flat mate (Z) and best friend (who is going through a very difficult time right now) pleaded with me to end this fast because 'she wants her friend back' and because the fast is 'a hindrance to communication'. She was quite upset, I was quite surprised. Am I really so different? So hard to talk to now? I do feel detached, but I thought that I was doing a good job interacting with my friends. Then yesterday at school, I was having a hard time interacting with my fellow teachers, usually I am quite talkative and full of jokes, but all I could so was sit quietly and listen to their conversations. No wise ass comments, no sarcasm, maybe they appreciated it, but it's not me. Oh, and last thing, in class yesterday I made a decision to play a game that I would normally NEVER play. It had no rewarding qualities whatsoever and I knew that, but I went ahead and did it anyway. Afterwards it was obvious the game was a mistake, but I hadnít previously questioned it at all.

Am I over-analyzing this? Probably. Am I looking for an excuse to break this fast? Maybe, but I doubt it- only because it's smooth sailing right now and I'm not really hungry (I don't even know what I would eat right now, if I were able). I don't want to break this, not right now anyway, not today. But I do miss my friends and my fully functioning mind. SoÖ I don't know. We'll have to see what happens I guess. I do know that if Z brings it up again, I will try and talk to her about it and see if we can't figure out what it is that bothers her so much about it.

On a brighter note, Iíve signed up for a yoga class and have my first lesson tomorrow. Itís a new studio that has recently opened up and Iím taking advantage of their introductory offer. Iíve been dabbling a bit with Yoga through the Internet and have decided that itís high time I had a proper instructor. Iím looking forward to it and will keep you all posted.

Alright, up and at Ďem..



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