Abuse drives you nuts and no one ever desirves it.

Date:   5/24/2005 1:14:24 PM ( 19 y ago)

Ever since I was just above the age of 4 my dad began to abuse me. I didnt know what to do or think. I used to think this was suppost to happen because this happened to him and his brother. It happened every weekend and every time my mom was out of the house. That is if he thought he could get away with it. He used to forever tell me crazy things as this was going on. For instance "I love you" or "When I was younger your what I described to my mom of what I wanted" or "When you get older and you have your own house Ill tell your mom Im just going over to fix a pipe." This made me think would this really last that long?? I didnt want it to so as I got older I got to do less and less things and this happened more and more. I tried to "put my foot down" and stop the abuse, but then he would blame it on my brother and I love my brother dearly and I couldn't handle that. So I did as he asked of me and got it done and over with. I never had many friends because I kept to myself and was afraid people would pick on me. When I turned 11 my grandmother died of cancer. She was my second mom. I could tell her everything... well almost. After she died my whole life whent down hill. My grandfather started drinking and my mom was working more which resulted to me getting hurt more. When I turned 13 my great grandmother died and we later moved into her house. I began having night terrors and seeing things. When I turned 15 I had this reacuring dream about my mom telling me she would have handled it. One morning after church my dads parents asked me to go to lunch with them. I went and I talked to my grand mother about my dreams. I knew what they were about, but I didnt tell her that. She told me "No matter what it was I had to tell my mom." I asked her if we could stop back at her house after so I could call my mom and tell her about what my dad had been doing for the past years behind her back. I dial her work number and tell her. She says we are going up to my aunts house for dinner and she dosent want me to go home without her there. I hung out with my grandparents and went back to church. I went to go call my mom and I accidentlly called home and my dad picked up. I said "Im sorry I ment to call mom and dialed the wrong number." Then he says "Well Im glad you did." I thought my mom told him that I told. I hung up. He called back seconds later my friend picked up the phone and told him I had just left. I called my mo0m and she hadent told him it was just me being paranoid and she told me she was home and she wanted me there asd well. I got home and my mom, brother and I went up to my aunts house.

 

Popularity:   message viewed 3723 times
URL:   http://www.curezone.org/blogs/fm.asp?i=976107

<< Return to the standard message view